pls don’t find me

do me a solid and just reblog this saying what time it is where you are and what you’re thinking about in the tags.

Tumblr? Having shoelace opinions?

I dont remember saying that

stomach ache. end of the world.

little kids always latch onto the older cousin who is the most aloof to them they're like i am so sorry sweet old ladies who want to give me toys & candy but i do not give a fuck about you right now because i have GOT to go bother the unemployed 23 year old who wants to play call of duty in the dark in his room

little kids always latch onto the older cousin who is the most aloof to them they're like i am so sorry sweet old ladies who want to give me toys & candy but i do not give a fuck about you right now because i have GOT to go bother the unemployed 23 year old who wants to play call of duty in the dark in his room

Despair is easy, hope is hard. And brother, I like to stay hard

thanks cock-holliday

I don’t think there’s anything funnier than reading horny posts when you’re not horny. Like if a post breaks containment and you go on the blog. There’s nothing more embarrassing. Cus it’ll be the most like. Nothing post in the world like ‘I want him… to put it in… sexual style… until I’m whimperink… with pleasure…’ And the notes will be full of people being like ‘mhphhh oh god that’s so hot pleaseeeeee please please’ It’s so funny. Like not being mean… I’m sorry… but horny brain is another planet. It’s so so so funny but also awful

Yeah. I’m the guy who impregnates the mannequins they put in the maternity section. It ain’t much but it pays the bills. Please no further questions at this time.

Join us, rickroll. Join us on the ace side

Sorry, I like orgasms too much.