too much swag.

Remember when joining fandom as a younger person meant lurking for a bit and figuring out the vibe and etiquette instead of coming in on day one and calling people weirdos for liking weirdo shit in the weirdo factory.

bitches love me for my deeply tragic yearning concealed with boyish mischief

music not hitting, phone not hitting, Minecraft not hitting, food not hitting, mouth taste like blood, death comes for us all

home from my fifth rewatch in theatres and naim is like. WAY more confident than i remember. not that i ever thought he was insecure or wimpy so to speak, but remembering "nah. nothing" as a fact of what he says vs seeing the whole scene again on the big screen is crazyyy . like yeah he's anxious abt being queer and yeah he doesn't want anyone to find out, but he's not clueless. he's not at all uncertain abt ryan wanting him, and knows its probably for more than just sex since his quiet "so there's nothing you like about this place?" isn't all that subtle. ryan's exposed himself--he initiated the first kiss which naim stopped, he's the one basically begging for naim to say he likes him--naim holds the power and he knows it. and what does he do? make ryan wait, tease him with a bratty "nah, nothing" before slowly leaning in to give ryan the kiss naim can tell he's aching for. maybe this was obvious to some of you already but im going through a naim characterisation renaissance right now because !! when he can let go of his fear, naim approaches intimacy with such lazy confidence and i swear nobody is talking abt it. the ear lick on the bus as well--his smug smile after he can tell ryan liked it. it's not ryan's giddy grin but something quieter and self-satisfied, and the ease of it contrasts so much with how shy and awkward i remembered him. i guess bc my idea of naim is so coloured by how he's frightened and uncertain for most of the film, but in little moments like this you can see his true confidence peeking through and its ! yeah