/My Own Buzzkill/>

my only real feral yearn when night creeps in is someone to laugh and be absolutely stupid with under a warm blanket with our feet out and legs wrapped round eachothers.

yooooooo I found the only striaght man left that doesn't have porn rot brain and an abusive mindset about sex 😭😭😭 im safe, FINALLYYY ugh I think I love him

and I let that shit happen because I thought you loved me

if anyone was wondering, im not dead and actually doing p good now :)

not me still typing out "be safe" when I know hes getting ready for work just to erase it and pretend I dont care : / This isn't no contact anymore it's just over for real. Im ok with being alone.

stupid stupid stupid stupid what the fuck is wrong with you??????

he really tried to get me to relapse on coke before he left me...what the actual fuck

I need to set something on fire again

I finally blocked him on everything but his work email. I hope he doesn't message me to ask how im doing, and at the same time, I wish he would. I dont think I'd respond, I can't do that to myself again, but i still want him to. I dont feel good about it. Im sick tbh, hes left an impression and scars that hopefully fade with time but are still very predominant. I've always believed hate is a strong word, but that's where I've landed after all this.

help

I want to message him so bad just cuz I want someone to talk to that I trust. I shouldn't trust him tho. hes not trustworthy and that hurts a lot. I really thought he was it but that shit was wrong. I miss you but please dont ever talk to me again.