Finding Me.

I’m so sick of trying to explain “mentally ill” to people bc my mom was all shocked and disapproving of me using that term because there’s this stigma that mental ill = psychotic or like deeply deeply depressed. I think it’s generational though. But like okay let’s talk about these semantics.

When you’re physically ill, when you’re sick, you have a number of symptoms. It might come and go. Sometimes you’re not sick at all. Some days you’re really sick. You go to the doctor if it’s really bad and they usually give you a diagnosis. And then you come up with a treatment plan and eventually it will be resolved.

When you’re mentally ill, you also have symptoms. You aren’t always mentally ill, but you have some bad days and some good ones. You get a diagnosis. You figure out how to treat it, how to cope with it.

Now, I’m not saying that just being anxious or just being depressed to a normal degree is mental illness, but I mean people like myself who have been hospitalized, on medication, in therapy, formally diagnosed, etc. although I also understand not everyone has access to resources.

There are varying degrees of feeling physically ill, from allergies to head colds to being hospitalized. The same is true of mental illness.

I view mental illness as a strength. It makes me proud to say THIS is what I’m fighting. THIS is what I’m surviving. If I had cancer I would much rather say I AM BATTLING THIS ILLNESS than “oh yeah…I just have like a few symptoms…but I’m not really sick.”