We Are All Mad Here

doodled some cats laying in glass bowls as practice for somethin I wanted to offer

You think women are saying “Every man is a predator and a danger to me.” And you’re replying, “But I’m not like that.”

But women aren’t saying that. They’re saying “There are too many situations where women have to worry about their safety,” and you’re saying “That’s not important.” They’re saying “Women are constantly told it’s their fault if something bad happens,” and you’re saying “Don’t worry about it.” They’re saying “Too often, women find their trust violated by men,” and you’re saying “But you should trust me!”

1: Fed all of her friends almost every day for ten years without complaining.

2: Excelled in a traditionally masculine career, (yes, cookery as a profession is generally male-dominated) and in traditionally masculine hobbies (football), without compromising her femininity or sexuality.

3: At the same time, revelled in traditionally female interests such as babies, marriage and housework without apologizing for them, or suggesting they made her inferior or weak.

4: Overcame teenage obesity.

5: Grew up in an emotionally abusive home, with a mother who subjected her to relentless criticism and verbal mistreatment….But still emerged with a sense of her own self-worth, determination to fulfil her dreams and huge capacity to care for others.

6: Stayed friends with her brother who bullied her as a child, and contributed to said-emotionally abusive home. Didn’t blame him for her mistreatment or show resentment towards him.

7: Took former best friend – who abandoned and rejected her for a ‘high society’ life – into her home without question.

8: Prior to this, accepted a woman who had previously lived on the streets, as her roommate and welcomed her into her group of friends.

9: Went through unemployment and shitty jobs, but refused to take unfair advantages she hadn’t earned (i.e. Pete buying her a restaurant). Eventually gained a prestigious head chef position based entirely on her own merit.

10: Walked away from the man she thought was the love of her life, because she wanted children and he’d only have them to make her happy. Even though that option would have been 100 times less painful for Monica, she knew that wasn’t fair on him and refused.

11: After marrying the actual love of her life, she waited until Chandler was ready to have kids, because she knew about his fears of raising children. When they discovered virtually the only option for children was sperm donor-ship (so they’d be her kids but not his), she refused and insisted on adoption. 

12: Was also the one-woman cheerleading team for the aforementioned love of her life, in telling him he could be the amazing boyfriend, husband and father that he never saw in himself. Was proved 100% right.

13: Resisted her control-freak coping mechanisms to give Chandler the power of making the big decisions about their future, (saying ‘I Love you’, moving in together, marriage), so he could work through his commitment phobia. Again, proved it was 100% worth it.

14: Encouraged her husband to quit a job he hated, then supported him – financially and emotionally –through his subsequent unemployment and helped him find his dream career.