Alright, time for a reeealllly long blog.
Community college has turned out to be a really great choice for me. I simply cannot stress how much I learned from this entire experience, whether it was academically challenging or me challenging myself to grow more. After high school, I wasn't looking forward to going to community college since all my friends were away attending a UC. Looking back now, I'm extremely thankful that I started here because it brought me to where I am today. What is this "where" you may ask? This is what my long blog will probably consist of. Hahah. I think I've mentioned this before in my previous posts, but my god. I have this new and profound love for my mom. There's no one I appreciate more in this life than her. She's my heroine. She's everything to me. Everything. What I deeply am regretting is not being able to tell her this through my words or my actions. I don't want to disappoint her. I don't want to make her sad. All I want to do is prove to her that I know what I am doing in life and what I will be doing will only make her proud to have a daughter like me. I know you work your butt off for me, mom. All I can hope for is to repay you for this in the near future. I love you for not only giving me the opportunity to live life, but teaching me all the different forms of love through your cooking, shitty job, and countless hours devoted to your family. -------- It's finally happening guys! I'm transferring from community college this Fall. I am so excited, anxious, scared, and just downright happy. I never pictured myself attending UCLA,but hard work really pays off. Juggling a part time job and being a full time student is difficult, but it has taught me so much more about responsibility. I wouldn't say I had the full college experience of partying though and I'm content with that. I learned something so much more than having fun; I grew up. I matured. I learned to be selfless, I learned the importance of family, and I learned more about myself and the goals I wanted to achieve. I'm not sure how to put this into words, but I basically came out a different person than where I started. I guess I started to put myself and family first, before friends and fun.
Something that has been on my mind recently is in regards to relationships. I broke up with my boyfriend of three and a half years not too long ago. Is it strange that I don't feel too hurt? Is that normal? I don't want to be deemed mean or selfish to anyone, although it shouldn't really matter how others think of this, but me. Relationships can be complicated and messy--it's honestly how you make of it. There's always something to take away from them. I guess I knew he wasn't "the one" for me and I wasn't ready to settle down. I wanted to have fun. I wanted to explore and I just couldn't do that with him. What hurts the most is knowing that I hurt someone who really loved me and cared for me with his entire being. I appreciate it so much, if only you knew. You taught me a lot and you helped me realize what I wanted in a relationship and what's it like to be in a relationship. I'm not saying I had a sudden epiphany of exactly what I want because that's just life. Everyone needs to explore more and learn about themselves and others. I think with my previous relationship, I focused too much on being serious that I forgot to have fun. I'm still really young and I should just put myself out there...and see what happens. That's something I gradually forgot. I need to reach out more and have fun.That's something I'll be working on. :)
















