Get That Weak Shit Off My Track

All right, hold on – is there anyone in this room who wasn't grown in a tube by a shadowy quasi-governmental conspiracy as a living weapon? Anyone at all?

Mine was a sphere

you guys got your own containers? I was grown in a high-capacity vat with the rest of my batch

Bougie mf over here with a high-capacity vat acting like they were soooo much worse off than those of us grown from the fucking SOIL

Fuck y'all, I'm going back to the ditch ooze.

I think I might be in the wrong meeting room but I brought cookies if anyone wants one.

the near universal absence of hose in late medieval inspired visual media is so evil not for historical accuracy reasons or anything but bc I think they're hot & I'm offended by the implication that they're too weird or unattractive to include. fake men's legs enjoyers everywhere. I bet they wouldn't even appreciate the eroticism of a little flash of braies where the thigh meets the body if they got it. sad!

perhaps some will disagree, but i think the world got worse when we changed the colour of the night

ALSO! red light doesn’t fuck up human night vision much so you can go in and out of lit areas without readjusting

i legit miss red lights in cars and appliances n stuff. red city lighting is goated

the postal service names their shit exactly like how a 16 y.o. names angsty fanfic

Explain.

Trans positive 1940s mafia goon: of course ya have "broad shoulders" sugar, you ARE a broad.

during my dissertation proposal hearing one of my advisors said "I think you might have been too harsh in your criticism of this theory" and I genuinely, innocently asked "what makes you say that?" and he said "well on page 27 you used the phrase 'should be consigned wholesale to the dustbin of history'" and I was like oh. yeah I guess I did that. fair

Today round ass puppy revealed to me, exhausted, at the end of my rope, that her training wasn't working not because she didn't understand, she did, she did, but instead because treats, chicken, turkey and pork apparently weren't enough motivation. She began obeying every word with startling accuracy as soon as she was offered something else. Doing backflips and stunts with pyrotechnics as prompted for the promise of a pea. A pea. She's a dog. A pea. A pea. A pea. I have to carry peas around now. On my person. Personal peas. 🫛 peas