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His stupid cute little fit and his little hat and his little ^_^ and the fucking. The hair doing the little fwoop out of the little hat
This has done something to me that I cannot express fully in human language. Why out of all things does the crepier uniform make me want to fuck him insane style.
LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
- magpie anon ā¦
This made me giggle uncontrollably.
He looks so fucking HAPPY.
Like genuinely he looks like actually pleased. Just thinking about the sweets. Heās so cutes.
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Thinking about how Zeno Robinson said that Hawks as a villain would be just like how he is in the show but reverse. Instead of infiltrating the villains, he would infiltrate the heroes.
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One of the complicated things about Keigoās relationship to growing up in the HPSC compared to when he was with his family is the stark difference in punishment.
As a young child, we know he was punished with physical and emotional abuse. When he is suddenly plucked by the HPSC, their reactions to him doing something wrong or falling short in any way is much different. They do not hit him, or scold him. They speak on an innapropriate level and change their behaviors to manipulate his.
They treat him with a contextually inappropriate level of formality. They speak to him like an adult. Keigo internalizes this as being seen as mature, an adult himself who is an equal and āchoseā this. In a way, this makes him feel āspecialā and different from other children, though not in a necessarily positive way.
Keigo also learns very quickly that punishments come in the form of repercussionsā a change in course. Failing to listen to orders or meet standards causes them to shift tactics, often in ways that are taxing on his body and emotional state, like harsher training or pushing his boundaries, or remove a source of comfort for him. Itās possible this is why he has such a complex relationship with food. Itās likely the commission kept strict control of his diet, and they were very much able to deprive Keigo of many and all comforts except for ones that would impact his performance, like food and water.
I do think Keigoās focus on food is genuine and wholesome, as well as a way to connect with others, but it also comes from a place of control. Hence why he, a literal spy, panicked visibly when undercover when he bought the wrong coffee at the convenience store. Most people would just be bummed. Keigo is disturbed to the point that the people watching him notice and call him out on it.
I think he also may have internalized some comments by the HPSC about his habits with food, and relished in that. Itās likely they noticed his love of eating, gorging on the food they provide and commented on itā nutrition, weight, and muscle are important for budding heroes. Of course they would notice. So Keigo adopts it further as an identityā āI know, Iām awful, right? I have no self control!ā chirped happily. The one place he is allowed to do that. Itās a little rebellion and a little cognitive dissonance for the impeccable restriction he places upon himself in other aspects of his caged life.
I still think its funny and telling that such an important figure in keigoās life literally dies off screen and heās like oh thank god. Im free of my shackles. Like that is very unlike keigo behavior to be like āthank god you died and the commission is crumblingā unless he genuinely felt so exhausted to the point of it going there. They must have done such awful things to him. He has a high threshold for stress and abuse.
How do you think Hawks would like to be comforted when in a mood, Clarii? I feel like he is the kind of guy that rarely gets upset but from time to time he gets this sadness and melancholy that just won't leave him...
oooh good question!!! itās funny you ask this actually, because i recently wrote a piece about comforting keigo as a birthday gift for one of my best friends!! so iām going to pull from that in my answer hehe c:
beware: very long post of character ramblings ahaha
i agree with you. i think keigo has an iron chokehold on his emotions and he is able to tame and tamper them very well, especially since he is canonically such a good liar. keigo strikes me as the type to be genuinely kind and compassionate but to also hold most people at arms length in an effort to avoid getting hurt or disappointedāat least until he knows them well enough to allow his guard down and feels comfortable being vulnerable with them.
to me, he seems like the type to want to hold it all together all the time not only to be strong for othersāfor both society and those he loves and cares aboutābut also to not āburdenā or bother others with his problems. he truly and sincerely just wants to do good, just wants to help in any way he can, not to add stress to anyone. i think, as far as he sees it, those are his problems to deal with, not anyone elseās, and he is responsible for solving them. he doesnāt expect anyone to do it for him, whether theyāre the love of his life or not. i also think this stems from the deep-rooted trauma of his childhood, where he was made to feel like a burden at all times.
what he has difficulty understanding is that those who truly love him want to help him, to be there for him, to comfort and hold him, to offer him a space to cry, or vent, or get angryāa space to be human, where he isnāt expected to be perfect all the time. the easiest way to get him to see it this way is to reverse the situation, to ask him how heād be feeling if you were down to make him realize just how much heād want to help make you feel betterābecause when your favourite person is feeling sad or icky, wanting to cheer them up never feels like a burden.
with that being said, i also think keigo genuinely understands himself and his feelings very well; heās in touch with his emotions 90% percent of the time and is often able to calm himself down or work through those complicated and complex emotions on his own.
but despite being a superhero, he is still human. he does still require the comfort of companionship that other human beings offer, just as we all do. and solving all of your issues + working through all of your heavy emotions on your own is bound to get exhausting, no matter how adept you are at it.
so yes anon omg i totally agree with you!!!
when it comes to alleviating his melancholy and providing him comfort, i think a two-step action plan is required. first, providing him with that space to be humanāto vocalize whatever it is thatās bothering him and to work through it with you, verbally or otherwise. keigo has a tendency to bottle up his emotions, and without actually expressing and exploring these thoughts and feelings, doing anything else (any sort of distraction; cuddling, cooking, movie watching, etc) is merely slapping a temporary band-aid on the wound without properly cleaning it firstāit may briefly feel better, but under the surface it continues to fester.
providing this space doesnāt always mean talking. on the rare occasion, he might be unable to put his feelings into words, or he may not want to express them that way, and thatās okay. on days such as these, art therapy works wonders. it allows him a comforting spaceāa space filled with love, with compassion, with understanding, with youāto analyze and articulate everything that is going on in his head. more often than not, after heās finished expressing these things through paint and charcoal, heāll be ready to discuss them with you.
after heās let it all out, he just really, really, really enjoys spending time with you, and you only. heād rather do something active than something passive, like cooking one of your favourite meals together or going for a hike on one of his favourite trails; it continues to allow him to release his feelings and often tires him out enough that heās ready to finally snuggle up in bed, with his head on your chest and your fingers in his hair, lulled into a deep sleep by the sweet sound of your melodic voice washing over his mind, cleansing it of all the pain as you read from one of his favourite novels <3
i also think keigo would love physical affection with his s/o, so expect a lot of impromptu kisses, hugs, caresses, and hand holding during all of this! <3
this kind of turned into a character analysis haha but anyway! those are my thoughts on the subject! <3 thank you for your question anon bb, i really enjoyed answering!!
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