Control is an illusion

“ frankly speaking, i wanna give up. ”

“ they love me cause i’m hot. ”  

“ just try to guess the answer. ”

“ everyone here knows you don’t care. ”

“ fine, do things your way. ”

“ i want to be in love. ”

“ no, i would rather make money. ”

“ shut up already, i’m not going. ”

“ because you said that, fuck you! ”

“ i hate you more than anything. ”

“ just sit down? let me explain? ”

“ can i be a little nasty? ”

“ there’s nothing wrong with being sexual. ”

“ i want you to like me. ”

“ don’t you dare lie to me. ”

“ i’m way too scared to fall. ”

“ terrified of my love for you? ”

“ we were both afraid, shut up. ”

“ it wasn’t anyone’s fault. not really. ”

“ life’s too short to care anymore. ”

“ i dreamt about you last night. ”

“ really? what did you dream about? ”

“ i dreamt you chose me instead. ”

“ how did you become like this? ”

“ this isn’t any of your business. ”

“ i’m losing my mind, losing control. ”

“ you weren’t there! i needed you! ”

“ please don’t start with me, okay? ”

“ why do you always leave me? ”

“ this is all we have left. ”

“ i turned around. you were gone. ”

“ all i can think about is you. ”

“ wow, you look like shit today. ”

“ i called and you didn’t answer. ”

“ i wanna be a child forever. ”

“ today, my love is in mourning. ” 

“ your words felt like sharp knives. ”

He can’t get a read on the kid, but maybe it isn’t terrible that he might end up going home alone tonight. After all, he can’t sleep with everyone in New York City. It’d just get awkward.

Shit. He gets it now. He’d been so  slow to realize it, he feels stupid for not catching on so quickly.  Elliot was always bad at this stuff.  He had promised Krista he’d try to be more social. 

“i was lying to you, but you were lying, too.”

“so what’s left to do? what’s left to say?”

“stop making friends, it’s just us.”

“just because you’re screaming for my attention does not mean i will waste my time.”

“what’s your problem, baby?”

“don’t mean to break your heart.”

“kill me if i end up like you.”

“i know that it’s not safe here, you did this to yourself.”

“can you tell that story? it’s my favorite one.”

“you fucking disappointment.”

“i can’t entertain you anymore.”

“don’t cross your boundaries and think that it’s cool.”

“if anything should happen to me, i want you to know i’ve loved you.”

“don’t dance around me, i know what it means.”

“maybe i could swim into your thoughts like your drugs do.”

“i’m not meant for this world, i just don’t see the point.”

“don’t think about it, don’t over think about it.”

“you’d better hide the bullets.”

“together we can fake our own deaths here.”

“i’m just a stupid motherfucker, can’t figure it out.”

“i wanna leap when you want me to fly.” 

“darlin’, i don’t mean to beg.”

“close your eyes, picture you and i.” 

“one day, somebody’s gonna go and get pushed too far.”

“not gonna say what you want me to say.”

“some things are better left alone but thanks for your concern.”

“i’d put a bullet in my head if i ever lost you.” 

“fuck you, no one is gonna ruin all our fun.”

“i’m not everything you wanted me to be.”

“i suggest you pray for a full recovery.”

“what’s happening to me?”

“do you feel the shame inside of you?”

“save yourself, don’t ever look back.”

“hey, what’s on your mind?”

“i think about my life without you and i start to cry.”

“hey, it’s alright; we’ll make it.”

“i love you and i’ll never leave your side.” 

“baby, pull over, tell me: are we concrete?” 

“what would you do without my perfect company to your undressed spine?”

“i think we’re bleeding out.” 

“i’m the one who made you, i’ll be the one who brings you down.” 

“this will be the last time.”

“just give me a signal i’m reaching you now.”

“i’ll teach you to love again.” 

“don’t believe it’s a never-ending summer ‘cause they don’t exist.”

“why am i the one falling apart?”

“you don’t even know you’re an angel.”

“foolish am i, for the times i come and go.” 

“i hope you don’t regret me.”

“this was never my intention after all.” 

“what the fuck did i do?”

“we’re made to destroy.”

“tell me what you want until it hurts.”

“i think we’re in over our heads.” 

“i can’t deny it’s getting worse; trust me, it’s a blessing and a curse.”

“call me if you’re crashing, we’ll take turns.”

“i won’t be here in a year.” 

“if there’s still evidence of us, why can’t that be enough?”

“i don’t mean to drag you down.” 

“all we have are parking lots and nowhere to go.”

“if you love me then show me more.”

“i’d give anything just to surround your dreams.”

“That is not actual answer.” 

Perhaps he was curious. Most were when it came to the Avengers. But there was also the issue that someone could use the information for worse purposes than just satisfying their curiosity.

Maybe not HIM but if others found out he had some of the information…well it wouldn’t be good for him either.