Use Your Snack, Then Eat Handsanitizer

I was feeding my dog, Kiki this morning, and I was thinking about telling her to eat, but what I actually almost did was tell her to go pee in Russian

Kid Pig Rib

Does anyone else ever get the urge to check under their bed because they worry that a murderous chimpanzee will kill them in their sleep?

I fucking LOVE Jon Stewart, he always makes my day better, I want more men like him. Like, he’s funny, smart, on the right side of history, and I think he’s annoyingly attractive

Tumblr, a magical online platform, where people care about two, maybe three things. Those things being:

Hey, are ya lookin’ for a jobs!? Well, too… too bad! It’s a scam, you pressed on a link, and… you’ve done been scammed! If you job a look, you’ll scam a find, and, poor a situation financial….