*angry in clown*

Angelo spends the first five years of his life wanting nothing. He gets every thing his heart desires almost immediately, when he finds himself hurt someone is there in seconds to kiss him and remind him he’s special. 

That all changes when his parents bring his little brother home. Suddenly, there’s someone else competing for the attention. In the early days of the baby being around, Angelo finds his parents drop everything to run to his brother’s side. He can’t begin to count the amount of times he’s been in the middle of a sentence, only for his parents to run off when the newborn starts crying. Suddenly, there’s less time to play with Angelo, and he’s lucky if someone even shows up at night to make sure he goes to bed on time. It’s not his parents fault, truly. He knows now that anyone has difficulty adjusting to the schedule of a newborn, and they never meant to push him out. But knowing something now is not the same as knowing it then. Naturally, Angelo is jealous.

He expresses his jealousy one day when his dad asks him to share his new toy he got on his birthday with his brother. Angelo remember vividly watching his baby brother grab at his truck all while his parents smiled adoringly at the baby. It’s selfish, he’s aware of that now, but in the moment seeing Ricky reach for something else of his makes him seethe. Angelo rips the truck out of his brothers hands and shouts that he doesn’t want to share it. Ricky cries and his parents chastise Angelo on how that isn’t nice. He’s not surprised they’re taking his side, but it only sets him off more. He gets so mad that he throws the toy to the ground, and then, to make matters worse he picks it up and slams down again and again until it’s nothing but brightly colored smashed pieces. 

His outburst is unacceptable. Angelo finds himself sitting in a corner for hours. He’d never been in trouble before and his parents didn’t know how to be effective about his discipline. No one told him what exactly about what he did was wrong, and for a few months that becomes their pattern. Angelo getting upset and finding himself in trouble, his parents failing to communicate to him what exactly the issue is. Soon enough, Angelo begins to realize he’s only ever in trouble when he’s unhappy. So...maybe that’s it. 

He spends the bulk of his life biting his tongue and ignoring the flinch of his fingers whenever something inconvenient happens to him. Angelo even lets other kids get away with doing things that genuinely upset him. In the face of being left out by his peers he forces a smile. When he gets hurt in playtime because someone pushes him, he forgives blindly. It’s all in the name of avoiding the corner and silence again. 

Even as a child he has trouble with being alone with his thoughts. Everything he feels is wrong. That’s the impression he gets from his parents, and he spends the bulk of his life thinking he’s wrong because everyone else in his family seems so perfect and happy. There’s never a frown or a bad word, and Angelo begins to wonder why he can’t be as happy as the false image his parents put out. Surely, something must be wrong with him. 

His first real dangerous fit happens when he’s fourteen. He doesn’t really remember what it is, figures now it was something stupid. But he loses it. On his school record there’s a report of him yelling at another student before punching him right in the face. The fight escalates too quickly and it ends with Angelo throwing a chair at the other kid. He misses, thank God, but still….he threw a chair at someone. It’s safe to say he was suspended. 

His permanent record is littered with incident after incident. Until, eventually, he gets kicked out of school. 

Angelo’s outbursts aren’t entirely unreasonable. He doesn’t just get mad that a store sold out of orange juice and flips out (ok, but he is VERY annoyed let’s not pretend). Usually, someone starts with him. His anger is always a response to someone hurting him, and in turn, he makes a scene. His wake up call comes in the form of a grocery store altercation. He accidentally knocks into someone. They both drop all their things from the impact, but Angelo swallows down his annoyance and offers to help clean it up. The stranger responds with attitude and snarky comments, even going as far as to call Angelo an idiot. It sets him off almost immediately. 

Don’t call him dumb, please God. He’s been called stupid almost his entire life by his classmates and even jokingly by some people he’d considered friends. He hates it and it’s the easiest way to find yourself in a fight with Angelo. A fight you’ll most likely lose. 

Differences in opinion do not exist when it comes to certain topics. Ok, most topics. Angelo is stubborn and righteous, he digs his feet in and refuses to accept anything other than admittance that you’re wrong. 

He’s genuinely not opposed to knocking everything in this bitch down when he’s mad. He’s that one Madea video where she knocks the whole table over.

He starts going to therapy because when he gets his powers he um is a little more dangerous than he’s used to. It’s unexpected. He’s just you know, being him, yelling at some poor stranger about something and he gets so mad that fire shoots from his hands. Luckily, no one got hurt. But everyone around him suddenly looks at him with more fear than he’s ever seen before in his life. Mortified and incredibly sorry, he realizes then that he’s got to do something to get a better hold of this.

Angelo is almost always listening to music. He’s always got an AirPod in, music playing quietly in the background even if he’s in a conversation. He learns that music is a good way to keep him distracted and calm. 

He spends years staying away from people and trying his best to isolate himself from everyone but his core friend group. He was so afraid that he’ll hurt someone by accident, and he decides it’s not worth the risk. So, he shuts most people out without so much as an explanation.

Very strong opinions about pizza. I know that’s canon in the film but i’m using my last noodle to say his favorite kind of pizza is buffalo chicken, followed closely by pepperoni. And you know what, he’s right and he should say it. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS

friends that mayhaps he had to cut off while he was trying get better/not hurt anyone with his powers.

maybe some people he’s flipped out on 

exes/crushes whatever

Debby couldn’t help but laugh at Angelo’s response, shaking her head. “Mm, I haven’t gotten sick of her quite yet. We’ll see how the rest of the night goes,” she answered, partially kidding but also a little serious. It was only a matter of time before Joy and Debby began to get a little stir crazy from being stuck in the house together for too long. She was surprised to hear Angelo wanted them to make him something for his office, but she tried to hide the surprise in her voice. “… I don’t see why not. Might as well while we have the extra free time.” She wasn’t sure what they could make for Angelo’s office, but surely her and Joy could come up with something creative. “Well, that’s the tricky part, we’ve realized… She uses her claws to rip it off as soon as we put it on her,” she explained with a small smile present, still finding the thought of Dolores with the hat on amusing. “But you know Joy, she won’t give up on the idea, so we’re still trying to get the perfect picture.” Her eyebrows raise slightly as she hears his sigh from the other end of the phone, now laying across the couch as she listened to Angelo’s answer. She could sense that something was off right away. “Complicated, huh? I’m sure I could handle complicated,” she answered knowingly. “It counts for something, I guess, but .. If you want to talk about it, you know I’m a good listener.”

there’s a heaviness in her chest as poppy waits for angelo to say something, to take it back or explain further what he actually meant. but instead all she gets is essentially a return of her own question. “i mean…” she starts before stopping for a moment - having been about to just simply repeat what again. because none of this seemed real right now. what he said was clear - at least, if he was saying what she thinks he was - but that’s what confused her so much. because she had to be hearing him wrong or not understanding exactly what it was he meant. but when angelo doesn’t say anything else other than standing by what he said before, poppy knows that can’t be right. “you asked if i thought you didn’t love me…” it’s just repeating angelo’s own words, which isn’t that hard, but it’s continuing on that’s the real struggle. “which… makes it seem like you were saying that… you did love me.” that she had been wrong - that she had ended things between them potentially for nothing.

with branch away at work, poppy had for the first time in probably over twenty-four hours ventured out of her room and downstairs. a yogurt sat in front of her as she leaned against the kitchen island, mindlessly moving her spoon around in the cup as she tried to work up the appetite to take even just a few more bites. just as she was about to call it quits and head back up to bed there was a knock at the front door followed by a ring of the doorbell. at first poppy was content to just ignore it - not wanting to deal with talking to anyone or letting whoever was there see her in this type of state - until her phone began to ring with angelo’s name blinking on her screen. it wasn’t the first time he had tried reaching out to her and like every other time she silenced the call and let it continue ringing on his end. though when there’s another knock on the door, poppy realizes she can’t just keep ignoring him and makes her way over to open the front door. the greyness of her skin doesn’t change at the sight of him standing there, even as she forces on a small smile that feels a bit more genuine than those she’s offered her friends. “hey,” she greets quietly, unsure what else she can say. @angelosanger

as he pulls away even further, poppy can practically feel her heart sinking downwards as the knots already tied in her stomach tighten. this was to be expected - she has no reason to be surprised that he’s going to back out and find some excuse to leave, storm be damned. and as she waits for him to actually speak, she almost wants to cut back in - lie and say it was all a joke to save herself from whatever heartbreak she knows is about to come. there wasn’t enough time to prepare herself for the rejection she was going to face - for whatever excuse he might give or explanation about how they’re simply just friends. or gods forbid the potential suggestion they stop being even that. it was an out she herself had moments before offered him, knowing it’s probably what he’d want to do, but she had hoped angelo wouldn’t actually take her up on it.

but before she has the chance to even try to wrap her brain around what she could possibly say to get out of this, to stop him from continuing on, he does just that. only… the words that come out his mouth aren’t anything poppy could have even attempted to begin to expect or understand. 

it should be a moment of relief - his words being along the lines of what she had wanted to hear from him after all - but poppy had so thourouly convinced herself there was no way angelo could feel the same way as she did that the mere thought of this baffled her. hell, the thought of being loved like that in general didn’t make sense in her mind. even before she’d met angelo a large part of her had given up hope that anyone could truly love her in this type of way. had accepted that she would have nothing but short term relationships for the rest of her life because she just wasn’t the type of person that anyone could love in the long run. for a woman that had so much love in her heart to give out to everyone else, poppy’s ability to accept it in return had been ruined years ago. not that it had ever been the strongest in the first place. she always knew she was a lot to handle. too much for most people. annoying and loud. foolish and impulsive. obnoxious. and why would anyone ever fall in love with someone like that? 

her thoughts were beginning to spiral and instinctively her arms moved to wrap around herself, tucking under each other tight against her chest as she forcefully stopped herself from continuing down this road. “what?” the question all that she can force out of herself - one word laced with more confusion and doubt than she’d ever shown to him before. she knows she should follow with something else, say more than just that, but she’s too scared to open herself up any further than she already has. too afraid to let herself start to feel even a flicker of hope that maybe he did mean what his questions implied - that maybe… she’d been wrong this whole time. because for all that angelo was sitting right here, telling her exactly that, poppy still couldn’t let herself believe it.

Well, the second day of the winter festival seemed to take a strange turn with the weather, but after everyone seemed to check up on each other, Debby was put a little at ease knowing everyone was at least safe for the time being. Debby being stuck at home with Joy wasn’t the worst thing in the world, though she was sure Joy probably would have preferred more exciting company than herself. “We’re doing okay … I’m surprised Joy isn’t sick of me yet,” Debby admitted through the phone with a faint smile. “Oh, we could never run out of crafts… If we did, it would probably be the end of the world,” she answered truthfully. Both being teachers to young kids, the two were practically crafting experts together. “We made Dolores a hat,” she added rather happily; talking about her cat always had her in her happy place. “But how are you doing over there?”

“i’m surprised you’re not sick of joy,” angelo grumbles, letting out a short, quiet laugh as he thinks about it. as much as he loved all of his friends, there was no doubt in his mind that joy was probably the hardest for him to deal with. their personalities were just on complete opposite ends of the spectrum, and he’s certain he gets on her nerves as well. he couldn’t imagine debby annoying anyone though -- she was far too calm and soft spoken. “make me something i can display in my office?” he asks jokingly, though...knowing joy and debby they probably would do exactly that. not that he would truly mind all that much, even if he grumbled and pretended to be annoyed about it. “send me a picture...if you can get her to keep it on for more than three minutes.” he could always show the picture to kitty, certain that she’d appreciate it. when debby asks how he’s doing though, he can only sigh, slowly pacing the open space of the living room as he thinks about it. “i’m...fine.” he lies, tension clear around his words, and in the end he sighs knowing that debby knows him better than that. “i don’t know...it’s...complicated. i’m physically okay though, that count?” 

eyes scanning his face, the smile on her own slowly started to fade as she realized something was definitely wrong. or at least different. it’s in these moments that poppy remembers this isn’t normal - the realization that they probably shouldn’t be cuddled together like this dawning on her. they weren’t together anymore. they haven’t been for over a year. then why were they here together? memories of the night before slowly coming back to her: the blizzard, watching a movie together, asking him to stay, admitting she loves him as she drifted into sleep… the last one has her heart stopping for a beat and her breath catching. oh. had she really said that? still looking at him, there’s no doubt in poppy’s mind that she indeed had sleepily and stupidly confessed her feelings to him. what else could have him so on edge? fuck. fuck fuck fuck.

“yeah,” she hollowly echoes his own answer back at him, mostly just because she’s taken too long to respond and needed to say something as her mind runs a mile a minute trying to figure out what she’s supposed to do now. the fact that he was still here had to be a potentially good sign, right? he couldn’t be too mad or disgusted with her if he hadn’t left. but then again… maybe he had tried to go but the storm prevented him. then there was the fact that he didn’t look happy. not that she could blame him for that. but it certainly didn’t help with the worries circulating through her head. “i…” she starts before stopping and taking a deep breath. should she apologize? everything in her screamed that she should, but that didn’t seem right. because she wasn’t sorry - at least not for loving him. for saying it, maybe, but an apology would come out seeming like she didn’t mean it. which she absolutely did - even if it wasn’t something she ever intended on letting him know. should she pretend it never happened? act like everything was normal and hope maybe he would just… let it drop? that would be the safest thing to do. the route she should take to protect her heart. but that also wasn’t right. nor was it fair to angelo. or herself, but that mattered far less to poppy than doing the right thing by him - something she had realized awhile ago she’d never done in the past. so what did that leave her with? 

“what are you thinking?” she asks instead, needing to know exactly how he wants her to handle this. but as soon as the words are out of her mouth she knows that it’s not going to be helpful so she continues on, sitting up a bit and pulling her legs away from his as she stares down at her hands sitting in her lap. now that she’s started talking the words all start coming out in a rambled mess. “we can ignore it. if that’s what you want to do. we can do whatever you want. i - i didn’t mean to say it. but i did mean it.” a pause as she finally glances up and looks over at him. “i do love you. but i get that you don’t feel the same and that’s okay. so like i said - we can ignore it. do whatever you want. if… if you don’t want to talk to me anymore, i understand. or if we need to put up boundaries, i get that too. really just - just tell me what you want to do and i’ll do it.”

.

angelo finds himself in the most complex of situations, tethered between wanting to stay in this moment and wanting to disappear completely. he’d known the moment poppy whispered those words they’d find themselves here, tense and struggling. in fact, he’d spent the better part of his night worrying if there was any real way he could avoid this altogether, save them both the stress of having to have an uncomfortable conversation. but the weather hadn’t permitted it. and, in the same breath, neither had his heart. angelo had wanted nothing more than to hear poppy say it to him, three little words that should otherwise mean nothing if strung together any differently, if falling from anyone else’s lips. but from poppy they meant everything -- and he needed to see this through, even if she would probably take it all back once realization hit her in the morning. 

as she slowly began to re-enter consciousness, the first thing poppy realized was she wasn’t alone in bed. which was a bit concerning until she cracked open her eyes and saw angelo laying beside her, their legs still entangled together. it should still be concerning, honestly. but in her still groggy state of mind she’d yet to remember the fact that they hadn’t been together for well over a year and this shouldn’t feel as natural and normal as it does. her eyes close once more for a brief second before fluttering back open, this time paired with her arms reaching upward in a stretch. she’s careful not to move too much though, afraid of waking angelo, before she looks over at him and realizes he too is already awake. “morning,” she says in an almost whisper, offering him a still sleepy smile. the realization that this isn’t normal for them anymore has yet to dawn on her, though the fact that something might not be right is starting to sink in as she takes in the look on angelo’s face. “you okay?” @angelosanger​

admittedly, angelo didn’t have the best night. it’s hardly something he can put entirely on poppy’s sleep born confession (or whatever they were going to call that). the combination of being at the winter festival in general and the strange sudden blizzard made for a weird night. he’d spent a lot of his night concerned about his friends, even if he knew they’d all at least made it indoors. the other portion of his night was spent mulling over what poppy said to him right before she’d fallen asleep. so, it shouldn’t be surprising at all that he’s in an unplaceable mood when he does wake up from the little sleep he did get. luckily he wakes up at least a few minutes before poppy does, giving him enough time to contemplate simply leaving before she wakes up. and, because he predictable, he still finds himself rooted to the spot. shifting in the bed, he lets out a quiet almost silent yawn before letting his tired eyes fall on poppy’s smiling face. “morning.” he echoed quietly, unable to even return it with the same smile she gives him. would there be a point where he was supposed to address how weird this is? or was he just supposed to pretend for a little longer? he’s not really sure what the rules are, what’s an acceptable way to move forward in a clearly unacceptable situation. but fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately for him, poppy brings attention to it first although it may not be in the best way possible. “yeah,” he nods, literally lying through his teeth because if she wanted to pretend she didn’t say anything he would simply follow her lead. he’s followed her lead all this time, and admittedly it’s gotten them nowhere. but he’s not about to make things worse between them. “yeah, i’m fine. are you okay?” it’s as close as he can get to asking ‘what the fuck are you doing’ without ever having to actually say that to her. as close to the topic as he thinks they can get to for at least right now.

.

The sigh was something Joy was used to but she wasn’t giving up that easily. They were a family! Sometimes you did things you didn’t want to do because it would make them happy. As he listed off plenty of things he’d done for them, a long list if Joy was being honest, she had to give him some credit but it was hard for her to understand not doing something simple like singing a song - it wasn’t going to hurt him. “Lecture? I don’t lecture and yes, I did because that’s exactly what you’re being. A grumpy Gus. You’re ruining the fun and I know you do a lot for Billy and Riley but you also lock them out. I had to let Billy in three times this week. Three times! It’s cold out, Angelo.” Joy knew Billy would take it, they always did, but that didn’t make it okay. Huffing, she shook her head. “I can’t force you to do it but know that it would be better if everyone was doing it.”

“you’re lecturing me right now!” angelo argues, confusion settling in on him again because joy honestly can’t be serious right now. what was this, if not her lecturing him on how to play nice with two whole adults that everyone else coddles? “he has a coat! and his pajamas are warm, he’s fine.” he dismisses with a wave of his hand. to be entirely fair, sometimes angelo does feel bad about locking Billy out after the fact. but in the moment there’s nothing other than how annoyed he is, how obnoxious Billy can be and how quickly the young boy works on angelo’s last nerves. but once that anger calms down, he can see the others point, can feel brief sympathy. it all goes away the moment Billy starts talking again though, and they find themselves back at the start. “you forcing me to do it was never even up for debate, so glad you got that part figured out.”

continued from here.

“How - How are you being infuriating?” Joy repeated with wide eyes. “You are purposefully being a sourpuss and not singing along when you know Riley and Billy would love it and what’s so wrong with doing something nice for people you care about?” There was no question in Joy’s mind that she would do just about anything for her friends and singing a song for Christmas karaoke was one of the easiest things she could do. “Don’t even pretend with me you don’t like it and even if you want to be a grumpy Gus, you can sing one song and then go fume in a corner. Maybe roast some marshmallows with those hands. Or chestnuts!”

[ @angelosanger​ ]

angelo sighs, unable to stop himself from being visibly over this conversation. you’d think after years of friendship joy would just realize that getting angelo to do something he genuinely didn’t want to was like literally talking to a wall. “i’m not doing it because i don’t want to.” he shrugs, and it’s a little confusing to him that in all of this (in almost all things that involved his dynamic with riley and billy) that most people forgot he doesn’t have to do something because others want him to. “also...i showed up because they wanted me to, even though i really don’t want to be here. i dressed up as a fucking pig for them last time, i listen to space conversations at 3 am against my will. so don’t lecture me about doing something nice for them.” he wouldn’t go as far as to openly admit he has, over time, come to care about billy but it’s implied. “did you just call me a grumpy gus?” he can’t even begin to process the rest of what joy just said, brain singling in on the one thing. 

angelo is hardly surprised when poppy fails to make it through the movie. she’d been doing so much lately; between running her business and taking care of her daughter. the added stress of getting ready for lily rose’s first Christmas couldn’t possibly be helping. so it’s no wonder poppy falls asleep, and he doesn’t hold it against her even as he tucks her into bed and prepares to leave. “you sure?” he asks, for once not flinching at the sudden uninvited touch. his aversion to touch always out the window whenever it came to poppy, and it’s a fact that’s not even subtle to anyone that knows him. there’s not a doubt in his mind about whether or not he should stay. he knows full and well he probably shouldn’t, remaining friends with poppy already doing a number on his heart as he teeters between wanting to get over her and knowing he never will. but the idea of spending just one night with the one person who’s always managed to bring a sense of tranquility to his otherwise vexing life. the only person who has ever consistently made him happy. “I’ll stay.” he agrees after a moment, walking over to the other side of her bed and climbing in. “come here.” angelo settles into the mattress, leaving himself open for her to snuggle into him. cuddling isn’t at the top of the list of things people expect him to be okay with, but a single moment with poppy was worth bending all his rules. @artsandpoppy​

angelo shouldn’t be even a little surprised that she was upset. it seems across the board he’d disappointed a large bulk of his friend group tonight, but he doesn’t really know what they were expecting from him. “how am i being infuriating?” he knows the answer has everything to do with the fact that he won’t join joy, riley and bing bong for Christmas karaoke. the added fact that they all knew he liked karaoke and would do it if poppy asked probably wasn’t helping his case. “i sang at battle of the bands isn’t that enough?” @jcytothewcrld

angelo looks down at the playbook in front of him, mind trying to make sense of how he intended to rework some of his game strategy if he really needed to. he’d always known kids could get competitive when it came to sports, no stranger to it himself. but how he managed to be caught in the middle of two obnoxious player rivalries is beyond him. “excuse me?” he looks up at dash, eyes unforgiving and tone heavy with disbelief. this entire time he’d only been half listening to the kid, but dash’s words bring him out of his little world. “honestly?” angelo throws his words back at dash, still a little annoyed. “if you and vidia can’t figure out how to work together you’re both benched.” @dashiel-dash-parr

“aw come on di,” angelo smiles, eyes bright as he looks down at her. to be completely fair he’s somehow not surprised he’d caught diana dancing around to pop music in her room. what does surprise him is how long he was able to stand in the doorway before she noticed. “it was adorable. just sing a little something, small piece of ‘hit me baby one more time’ and I’ll leave you alone.” he teases as they stand in line for hot chocolate. @dianagustee