You would have thought I had died, but I made it out alive

The washerwoman: adoptive mother. Loved her and misses her to this day. Only mother he cares about.

Unknown potential miscellaneous caretakers between the fishermen finding him in the Luo River and his adoptive mother taking him in. SOMEONE had to nurse this kid if he wasn't actually adopted by the washerwoman immediately.

Su Xiyan: birth mother. If anyone told him about the "set adrift in a river" thing, he probably assumed for most of his life that a birth parent left him for dead.

Shen Qingqiu (Shen Jiu): teacher and master. If Shen Jiu didn't give Binghe a lot of his issues, then he definitely made them worse!

Shen Qingqiu (Shen Yuan): teacher and master. The "can't I look at what I raised?" is there and cannot be taken back, and it does just get weirder. No, I don't think Shen Yuan would be thrilled about being on this list at all.

Meng Mo: teacher and portable grandfather. This demon had to talk Binghe into being his student and settle for not even being called "Shifu". Probably gives terrible advice.

Shang Qinghua: father to Binghe as much as he's father to everyone in this world that he wrote. Does NOT want Binghe to know this. Probably gave Binghe a lot of his own issues. Sure does give advice.

Mobei-Jun: demon mentor (arguable) and stepfather through the author father thing. Does not know this. Definitely gives terrible advice.

Huan Hua Palace Master: master of Binghe's birth mother, probably wants to be Binghe's father-in-law. Threw Gongyi Xiao aside IMMEDIATELY to take Binghe in and put Binghe in charge of the Jin Lan City mission even when he wasn't an official disciple.

Pawpaws are a Michigan native fruit that looks like it should not be a Michigan native fruit.

I'm told that it has the consistency of avocado, but tastes like a combination of banana, pineapple, and mango, with and earthy aftertaste. They are EXTREMELY delicate fruits, such that they are not really shipped anywhere- to eat them you have to find someplace local that has trees, or have trees, yourself.

I've always wanted to try them, so, I bought a few saplings, and spent a couple hours tonight planting them. They won't fruit for another 5 years at least. Each hole dug, each rootball excavated from its pot, each circle of mulch around the base of them... that's hope. That's a promise to be here 5 years from now, to see them flower, to pull sweet fruit from the limbs and try it for the first time.

as bingy.

...

Fire Eel (Mastacembelus erythrotaenia), family Mastacembelidae, order Synbranchiformes, found in freshwater habitats in SE Asia

This species is not a “true eel”, but is in a group called the spiny eels.

All other cultivators: Luo Binghe is a dangerous violent predator who is not to be trusted

So Yue Qingyuan didn't think much when he sent the usual delegation of Shen Qingqiu (to handle the political negotiation and come back with observations of the new Emperor), Shang Qinghua (trade agreements), and Qi Qingqi (to talk with the court ladies and government official wives for the gossip).

The last thing he expected was for the new Emperor to recognize Shen Jiu as the little brother who went missing when the previous Emperor - the new Emperor's paternal uncle, from what Yue Qingyuan understood - undertook a military coup to secure the throne.

---

Unfortunately in the last scenario his aspiring stepdad is his little shit of pseudo (martial) brother, who wrote a poem titled something that Ming Fan interpreted as "Shixiong's mom has got it going on" which thankfully flew right above Shizun's head. Ming Fan just KNOWS that if Luo Binghe asked Shizun if they could marry pretty please Shizun would sigh and accept but only because Binghe has been such a diligent and filial disciple and he deserves a reward. And Ming Fan is not unaware of how incestuous he makes it sound, but you don't live here you don't know what he's going through.

He tried to keep Luo Binghe's grubby paws away from his shimei, but he focused so much on guarding the cabbage patch he didn't see Luo Binghe sneak past and towards the farmer's house!

Thank Heavens the farmer is so far removed from mortal issues he doesn't notice the beast he collared wants to be his house wife.

So Ming Fan, instead of a little henchman, becomes an anxiety riddled teenager, seeing gold diggers hiding in every corner. Ning Ying Ying tuts and tells him he's being ridiculous, to which Luo Binghe shakes his head and says:

When I see the way you look,

shaken by how long it took.

I could do about anything,

I just finished scum villain.

looked up fanfic. Saw this fic and this fic.

became I N S P I R E D to make some art

(Closeups under cut below lol)

SQQ casts 'yeet'