AngelaandShane, Surviving Infertility

Since my last post a few months back about rediscovering who I am after infertility, much has happened. Thankfully all positive things.

Miracle turned 2, we experienced Thanksgiving, Christmas, & the New Year with a toddler in tow. For once, the holidays were celebrated with full hearts instead of treatment, recovery, loss, infertility or pregnancy discussions. Decisions about the future of my…

For so many years I was the “infertile” one. The one who desperately yearned for a baby. The one who repeatedly underwent procedure after procedure to finally get pregnant, only to then lose the long awaited for pregnancy. The one who everyone eagerly waited for updates from to see if I was indeed expecting, or “still” expecting. Then, one day, the stars aligned, everything fell into place, and I…

Today was tough. It started out with ants in my kitchen which in turn led to me ripping things apart and cleaning like a wild woman, while at the same time trying to manage a rambunctious toddler who was yelling, “ANTS”!

Shortly after that, I received the news we had been waiting for on the infertility front- the results of the final semen analysis conducted a few weeks ago. While I won’t go into…

As she watched her 3 kids tumble around the playground and chatted with me about her growing baby bump, I could sense it was coming. I started to feel a strange anxiety building up to it.

How would I answer this question once she finally spit it out? Should I tell this stranger making small chat with me the struggle leading up to him being my “only” child? Should I say “yes…here on Earth” and…

Today I met with our RE for the complimentary follow up visit after an IVF cycle fail. Commonly known to IVF frequenters as the WTF appt.

Even though we know there will be no more IVF in the future & have voiced it to our clinic already, there were still some things to visit. The start of the meeting was somewhat somber with my RE saying again how bummed she was that the last little one did not…

Miracle will be 2 yrs old soon. Hard to believe it. I mean how cliche is it to say time flies, but boy is it so true. The past year or so I have found myself struggling through stages of infancy and toddlerhood only to blink and see a new stage upon me and miss the old stage like crazy.

Back in early 2014, we had 18 eggs retrieved via IVF with ICSI, 8 of which made it to day 6 blasts. 7 were put…

Where do you begin when you haven’t blogged in over a year? From an avid blogger to a ghost. Some people might think you fell off the face of the Earth. Others could guess you have tried to turn over a new leaf, assuming you are trying to put your “infertile” past behind you now that you have a baby….I wish it was that easy.

So many times I have stared at a blank screen and wanted to write. I…

We survived the 4 month leap/regression! Some milestones to note: Sleeping through the night! No more night feeds. He dropped them on his own at 18 wks. We are now on 12 hr stretches of sleep the past 3 wks. Pretty consistent about going down at 8 & getting up at 8.  He is still sleeping in his dock a tot in our bedroom. I love having him next to me & am in no rush to move him into his crib…

I heard that quite a few times yesterday. Evoked mixed feelings in me. Part of me said yes, it is my first, the other part of me said no, it isnt my first. I guess I have a love hate relationship with ‘my first mothers day’ …I love that I finally got to celebrate having my boy here with me, but I hate that my babies that didnt make it didnt get to celebrate it with me. I (literally) shed tears…

May 2, 2016 was the last time I (physically) went to work. At the time I had no idea that would be the last day I walked into my 3rd grade classroom.  I had been bleeding quite a bit over the past weeks since my BFP and figured I was having yet another miscarriage. The pain became overwhelming so I left work and headed to my RE’s office.  This is what we saw… Relief. A heartbeat. Followed by…

Blowing raspberries is our new favorite thing to do!  Miracle is making a few consonant sounds such as “ma” and “da” on occasion He enjoys squealing very loud Everything goes straight to the mouth, and Im thinking teething could be soon. In fact, I see little white teeth under some of his gums so Im curious how far out it could be?  He doesnt care to be held much, he would rather stretch out on…

This wont be a teribbly long post, but a few things have happened this week I dont want to forget. And although I am keeping a baby book, it simply doesnt allow enough space for everything!  At 14 weeks, Isaac has now started showing interest in his stuffed animals. Every morning he spends time talking to them in his crib. I surround him with a variety of them to keep him occupied as I wash…

A few days ago, Word Press reminded me that I started this blog 2 years ago this March.  2 years ago at this time I was on a medical leave from my position teaching Fourth Grade. I had just had my 3rd IVF miscarriage at 10 weeks pregnant. I was beyond devastated. I chopped off my hair and got 2 tattoos within weeks. I wanted to morph into a different person but I soon realized that wasn’t…

Some baby memes that are too funny not to share-

Miracle is offically 3 months old now, which means mommy & daddy survived what is said to be one of the toughest times by most. There have definitely been some challenges, but there has also been so much laughter (no coincidence our boys name means full of laughter). He is such a blessing.  I think the most difficult things we have faced are feeding and sleeping (and working from home, but I’ll…