Spooky Bitch

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

official dnd post

had this weird dream during my after work nap that i was in the middle of a column of animals and bugs from another planet and they were like crawling on my skin and mouth and i thought the togetherness was super amazing but i was also kind of grieving the feeling of being free and untethered to anything. i was like this is cool but at least down on earth theres a sense of differentiation between yourself and the other

nothing will ever be funnier to me than the 30-50 feral hogs joke phase, I think about it at least once a week

Happy 30-50 feral hogs day

World heritage post

A female friend group WOULD fix Armand but Anne Rice often forgot to consider women as people and so this did not happen

are there any readers 📚 😏 in the audience 👥 🎤 tonight? 🌃 have you come across THIS 2️⃣ 0️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣ bodice ripper?🧛 😒 dubbed an IRRITATING HOAX 🙄 bound for flash 💥 in the pan 🍳 status by vanity fair? 💖 and a thoong 🩲 bustingg 🤯 steamy 🌫️ beach read ⛱️ for the cocksucking 🫦 fire island set by OUT MAGAZINE? 🏳️‍🌈 well WE are the tribute band 💁🎸 🥁 spawned from this literary ✨ mountaintop. 🗻 unless of course 🤷 louis de pointe du lac 🤭 was interviewed by a two ✌️ time pulitzer-prize-winning mortal in dubai 😒 AND I ☝️ AM 🤯 ACTUALLY ✨ THE TOXIC ☠️ BITCH ‼️ ANXIOUSLY ATTACHED 😟 show pony 🐎 ✨ with a peRSONALITY DISORDERRRE 🤸 💃called LESTAT!!! 💪‼️any vampire truthers out theeere? 🦇 ⚰️ 🤘 STANS of 🇮 🇼 🇹 🇻 we have a very special guest in the audience tonight...😊 please FOLLOW ☝️ my FINGERR 🐍 to the FRENCH 🇫🇷 BENGALI 🇧🇩 SMOKESHOW 💨 🪩 😳 🫵 can we get a TORCH 🔦

Not shaving and not wearing make up are literally nonbehaviors. They’re a complete lack of action. But doing nothing is considered masculine because women are not allowed to just be. this goes double for trans women.

reblog this version because transmisogynists don’t know how to fuck off.

i hate it when people mistake "etymology" with "entomology." like, i know where they coming from but it still bugs me

villain going to the goon shelter to pick out a new henchman

this energetic and diabolical boy was rescued from a goon hoarding situation… he loves pulling levers, gloating, and turning cranks with great abandon. prefers to be the only goon. needs an active lair with plenty of enrichment.

now this fella comes with some baggage. his previous villain was going to have put down when he refused to perform unsedated human vivisection as a form of torture. one of our agents intercepted the execution and brought him to the goon shelter. would thrive in an environment of G or PG-rated villainry.

on the other hand, if you’re looking for something a little more… advanced… then this fine lady over here would make a great challenge for an experienced villain able to set firm boundaries. she will NOT be released to first-time villains; proof of prior henchpeople must be demonstrated before adoption approval. high prey drive. under no circumstances should she be left alone with children or small animals. must sign waiver releasing the goon shelter from responsibility if her behavior is deemed excessively depraved.

These two are pair-bonded and may only be adopted together. Up for anything, they are fiercely loyal to their employer provided their needs are met and they are permitted to hold hands. They look alarmingly similar to one another but it is undeterminable whether they are close blood relatives or lovers who choose to dress and style themselves in identical ways. Habit of finishing each other’s sentences with rhyming couplets; we have not attempted to train this out of them. Will answer to whatever names or titles you give them so long as they are complimentary and/or rhyme.

Will you help this goon find his forevil lair? He’s been returned to the goon shelter six times now but we refuse to give up on him. A vile little rat of a man, he’d be the perfect accomplice to someone willing to overlook his unfortunate heterosexuality. If gay-coding is not your style and you don’t expect it from a henchman, please consider giving this little guy a good home in your dastardly schemes.

This guy is not your typical goon. He was rescued from a high-kill shelter after being deemed unfit for henching. His deep baritone voice, his darkly handsome good looks, and his flair for the dramatic have made prospective employers pass over him time and time again, making him the longest resident of the goon shelter. But don’t judge a book by its cover—while his appearance and demeanor suggest “villain”, his real passion is taking orders and faithfully serving a master. If you’re secure in your villainry and not prone to jealousy, he may just be what it takes to turn your base into a lair.