AndyPandy

— fourth wing headers.

Hermes, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him? Athena: You did WHAT–  Dionysus: William Snakepeare.

Poseidon: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?  Hestia: Does anyone in this titanforsaken family ever think before they speak?

Zeus: Nothing in life is free.  Apollo: Love is free!  Artemis: Adventure is free.  Athena: Knowledge is free.  Hermes: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

Ares: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a F*CKING THREAT.

Dionysus: Croissants: dropped  Apollo: Road: works ahead  Artemis: BBQ sauce: on my titties  Hermes: Shavacado: fre  Ares: Miss Keisha: f*ckin dead  Zeus:  Zeus, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Persephone: You love me, right, Hades? Hades: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

Hephaestus: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my f*cks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

Demeter: Hades, keep an eye on Zeus today. They're going to say something to the wrong person and get punched. Hades: Sure, I’d love to see Zeus get punched. Demeter: Try again. Hades, sighing: I will stop Zeus from getting punched.

Also.

Hades: whatever tries to kill Persephone should kill itself, ‘cause they will beg for death once I catch them.

Persephone: bold of you to assume I haven’t already finished them off…

the reason Michael Caine and Tim Curry are so good in their respective Muppet movies is that Michael Caine treats the Muppets as fellow actors, and Tim Curry treats himself as a fellow Muppet