star gazing

my name is jenga, and you might recognize me from @2hiit, @mikucaptor, @spellbookbindings, @oberonnie, @goodnatured, @uzufoxy, and @autochaton. if you do, you may have also noticed my various absences from the tumblrsphere in the last year or so. although i've been trying to stay as uninvolved from this as i can, i've reached my breaking point. this is in part due to the newest of the false allegations sunnie has lobbied against me, and in part due to the health of my wife, who was supposed to be wearing a heart monitor this month to track some irregular beating, but whose results have most definitely been skewed due to the repeated stress sunnie has been putting our family through this past week. 

this post will include every shred of evidence i have against sunnie (@sunniehub), with the hope that once i've said everything i can, i never have to address this again. i deserve peace. my family deserves peace. i have been forced to accept we will not get any if i continue to just wait for this to blow over.

it has been brought to my attention that i have been accused of r/pe by the person i abused ten years ago. it should be known, for the record, that i did not source this screencap myself. it was relayed to jenga, and then through jenga to me, via a source that will remain anonymous. this post solely exists for clarification.

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i am aware that there is a dni that exists about me on sunnie's blog and frankly, it is not my place to discredit anything xe has posted in there. in fact, i made a post about my egregious wrongs over here on this blog. i firmly believe it is not my place to discredit any victims on their experiences, especially in my position as a past abuser, but this is extremely wrong.

at no point during the time when i dated sunnie did i ever coexist with xem in real life. our interactions were solely online. in fact, i made sure to double check with a couple of sources on what sunnie's allegations were against me. i contacted ysa @cyb3rbvlly, who was present during the sunnie's confrontation of me, to confirm:

^ (note: ysa would like to apologize for using "they" in relation to sunnie. ysa had not spoken to sunnie in a long time, and was unaware of xer pronoun preference. they chose not to edit the sentence to preserve the integrity of the screencap, not out of any act of maliciousness.) ^ (note: i censored the name of the second witness present in the confrontation gc since this person is no longer online and to preserve their identity.)

none of those allegations were ever r/pe. i have the full transcript of the gc where i admitted my faults, and can provide receipts as requested if any of you want to reach out.

at that time in my life, i was working at job for $7.25 an hour and staring down the barrel of homelessness. i had no funds and no home to even facilitate a visit from someone who lives at a distance. as a r/pe + csa survivor myself, i cannot stress to you how much i would never dream of doing something this violent.

in fact, xe knowingly changed the wording to bring more attention to it. the personal safety of others is something that i prioritize at all times. i do understand the urgency to feel safe in your own space, and i agree: everyone should be aware of who they talk to at any time on the internet, and this is why i do my level best to stay away from sunnie's preferred community (presumably homestuck). i also work diligently to remain transparent with whomever comes across my blogs, both on my:

pinned post:

and my rules page:

if i may be direct: there is a difference between csa experienced online, and actual, physical, r/pe. that point should be clarified with care. r/pe victims such as myself face a brutal reality where our experiences are downplayed or outright discredited as fictitious.

on the subject of sunnie's dni pertaining to me: again, i'm aware it exists. i have seen it via screencaps provided during jenga's post made in response, posted here.

if any changes have been made to that dni since it was originally posted, i don't know about it and i won't be addressing them. it already pertains to most of the issues i have stated as true in my callout post. if you need anything else clarified, you will have to bring that to me privately, as i will not be seeking out that information on my own.

some final closing notes:

i only go by the name linus. "stan" is allowed by friends whom i have known for a long time. if any of you must keep the name "stan" in your dni about me: i have no issue with that. please be sure to specify that it is a name i was previously known as.

i will be updating my pinned post and rules to reflect this post's existence for universal awareness.

it’s good to hear you’re doing okay! 

Took this before I left to Madison Ruarc's place. I'm impatient and I will reblog it later but I am okay with this!