an blog 4 porn

On this blog I typically present myself as a butch gender-ambiguous switch with genitalia chosen to fit the moment. I’ve got a story to tell that involves my actual bits, which you can feel free to skip if you’d like to preserve the mystery.

First off, my junk is a custom model. The most important component is a phallus that… fuck, idk how to describe it. It’s sort of like a tongue? At the very top I’ve got a hard bony round thing covered in hair. Then there’s a tent thing that covers most of the phallus when it’s flaccid. The phallus pokes out from under the tent when it’s erect. I’ve never actually managed to stop jacking it and get a ruler while it’s hard, but from the edge of the tent to the tip of the hard phallus might be about ¾ of an inch along the top side.

The bottom side, on the other hand, is wacky. It starts out normal, just a regular dick head in miniature, round and pink and sort of mushroom-shaped and throbbing, same as the top, but then you go about an inch down and it splits. (All regular skin, no scarring.) In the middle of the bottom there’s a little flat spot that goes down and down for maybe another inch–making the phallus about two inches long erect when measured from the bottom, yeet–and to each side there’s a thick flap of skin that connects again further down and pulls nearly taut with erection.

Right around the other end of those flaps there’s the vagina, which is utterly unimpressive. It’s got low-to-middling capacity and is constantly a little bit wet, but it’s difficult to get it wet enough to fuck with anything sizeable. Under that is a perineum, followed by a butthole.

I wish I could say I was born with this deliciously versatile genital setup, but it’s actually biomodified–the result of XX-typical features plus artificial testosterone after puberty. The tent is a standard-sized clitoral hood (meaning it’s not nearly long enough to cover the phallus), the phallus grew from a clitoris, the taut flaps are what happens when regular labia are hooked to a substantial phallus instead of an only slightly engorged aroused clit, and the vagina is I suspect a bit defective, but still pretty useful with the right lube.

I am, in fact, “butch” and “gender-ambiguous.” My public identification is as a trans man, and it’s mostly accurate. But I also reverse crossdress and top in femdom and bottom in DDLG and bottom in power play with misgendering and roleplay as a “bicurious lesbian” looking to “try dick,” and if I did porn I’d probably try to reverse pass as an intersex woman, so on my kinky porn blog it doesn’t make sense for me to act like I’m all masculine all the time.

Anyway, typically I fuck this arrangement with a vibrator or two in much the same way as I imagine a woman does. I’ve got a long bumpy number and I stick about a quarter of it in my vag, turn it on, and leave it there, and then I pull out a medium-length smooth one, rub it in the natural lube oozing out from above the bumpy one, and go to town on the phallus. Around in circles medium pressure, lightly rest it against the tip, wobble it on the folds, stick it straight on the flat part of the underside, etc.

All the action is rod vs. rod, like dick-on-dick wrestling. It’s sort of… tricky. If I leave the vibrator going on a certain spot, it’s practically guaranteed to numb it, so I gotta keep moving and try to stay light. The really good stuff is along the divide between the top and the bottom of the phallus and between the outside/top and the inside/bottom of the folds. Then, when I’m already starting to cum, I finally get to go for the deep pressure–if I do it any sooner it feels great for a few seconds and then I have to wait in horny disappointment for like half an hour to actually get off.

But! Yesterday, I got off real good. Instead of dick-on-dick wrestling, or bottoming for vaginal penetration, or bottoming for anal penetration (which I’ve also done), it felt like I was actually fucking someone, hard and wet and perfect, my cock buried inside them. And it didn’t involve any special toys or a partner; it was just with my regular skinny, smooth vibrator.

After I’d been teasing myself for a while with various fantasies and light touches, I lay down on my front and used the vibrator to press the top of my phallus against the bed by sticking it into the gap between the folds. My hips jerked a little of their own accord. The phallus didn’t get numb. I kept fucking myself like that, shaking, through an orgasm that felt like I was emptying balls I don’t have into a nonexistent partner. I kept shaking for hours afterward. 10/10 would cum again.

There was a huge wet spot on the bed, though. -_-

@muchbirth​

In all genuine honesty, this description was... Incredibly arousing. I won't lie, I would love to pleasure those parts. Just thinking of all the things I could do... I would love to taste that phallus, touch every part male and female, and see what could drive you over the edge fastest. Then do that time and again. I hope that's not overstepping any bounds or anything, but... I think that description was beautiful.

I don’t really like to call them male or female, but yeah, my junk is sexy as fuck, and this was absolutely a story that turned me on and that I hoped would turn other people on. I expected it to be mostly a useful getting-off idea for people with similar genital configurations, but converting more people to the “you know what, fucking a trans man sounds GREAT” side is to my advantage, too.

Some things to try:

feeling out the relation between the tent and the top of the phallus. don’t forget the upper sides of the phallus and the top of the tent. the further up you go under the tent, the more sensitive it is, and it can quickly get overstimulating or even painful

tracing the Good Line. that’s along the very outer edge of one fold, up to the head of the phallus, down the outer edge of the other fold, then go in the vagina and wiggle it a bit. repeat as needed

nipple pinching, but be gentle (I like pressure more than pain there) and don’t touch the rest of the tit, I prefer to forget it’s there

around and around and around the phallus we go

fuck the underside of the phallus. there’s a little gap there that looks like it’s designed for a dick. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it on a woman in porn. I think this is called docking? fair warning, it’s really sensitive, but it should calm down after the first couple tries and feel sort of thuddy with intermittent sparks. drag a vibrator along the top and sides while fucking against the bottom for best results

put something inside my vag and just... leave it there. vibration preferred but not necessary. fill me up. I may say something under my breath like “oh fuck I’ll get pregnant.” it’s just dirty talk--I use reliable birth control and generally prefer vaginal penetration with something smaller than an average dick--but the fetish runs deep. (it will be even funnier when I get permanently sterilized, which I plan to do within the next couple years.)

on the other hand, my ass is hungry. it will take large items. toys. cocks. hands. one time I accidentally almost fisted myself... without lube. unfortunately, it doesn’t have a prostate, and it’s hard to get a lot of sexual excitement out of it; so far, my ass has been more of a party trick than a climax-inducer. feel free to try to change that, though.

oral! never gotten anyone to do it but it sounds great. I’ve been looking for an affordable toy that will do it, actually, but they’re all designed for either a TINY phallus or a HUGE phallus because those are a lot more common. maybe a nipple sucker would do it? but the thing about a mouth is that it’s resizable. therefore, I invite you to suck my dick

put pressure on the gap between my leg and my crotch. this will instantly transport me into subspace. you may notice that my entire body goes limp. then fuck me.

pull my pubes. no, don’t “tug.” pull. they’re sturdy. you can lift the skin a good few centimeters without actually hurting me. (this is again something of a party trick tbh but I find people’s horror at how far they can pull to be absurdly entertaining and kinda hot. ...actually, if you’re a sadist, this may not be good advice.)

grind your crotch against my crotch through one or more layers of clothing

if it’s just not working around the phallus, fuck my vag for a while, or switch to receiving, or do a scene, or otherwise give it time to cool off. doesn’t have to be a total break, just a break in that part of my downstairs

Or you could try anything that’s worked for you with a man or a woman (or another trans person, of any gender and genitalia). I meant it when I said versatile. I might even be able to top for penetration, though I couldn’t wear a condom, so it’d be risky in terms of STIs.

Yes, I think I’d be a very fun lay for the right person. Unfortunately, something about my dating profiles always seems to turn people off. Are you bi, by any chance? I’ve heard bi people are more likely to be interested in unusual bodies.

Deeply, immensely satisfying. Just looking at her and thinking “I did this. I caused this. I took literally everything from her, ruined her life entirely from top to bottom, and I didn’t even have to be there for most of it.” Knowing that she fought and struggled and tried to stop this decline at every opportunity, but society did your job for you, blocking and stopping her attempts to save herself at every turn, and enforcing her role as a powerless victim, and leaving her no choice but to give birth to the child you made her create.

You dominated her entire life and obliterated any joy or hope she had, leaving her in charge of raising a child she never wanted in the first place for eighteen years, entirely alone. And the rape culture that we live in supported your effort to show girls their single purpose every step of the way.

(For real though. This is fantasy. But the destructive culture in america is real. I’ve seen and experienced it first hand. The amount of pain and fear and devastation a victim of rape experiences at the hands of the people that are supposed to help and support her is inexcusable, ESPECIALLY if she gets pregnant from it.

Be better than that. Help victims. Support people who need it. Fight back against these religious zealots that preach the virtue of forced impregnation and birth with one hand, and then shout down support for the poor and struggling mothers who may not have wanted their children in the first place because “muh tax money” with the other.

The things that happened with the latest hearing were unacceptable on a lot of levels, but at the end of the day it was made abundantly clear that it is the stance of america as a nation that “we don’t fucking care if you got raped or not, eat another dick you dumb whore, if your rapist is white enough and rich enough he can be the leader of the nation because you need to learn your fucking place.” We can’t keep excusing this shit or accepting this shit. We need to be BETTER.

You do a really good job of conveying through your scene how absolutely horrible the experience of being raped and impregnated and victim-blamed is, even when you’re speaking as the perpetrator. You make it clear that it’s about breaking women, making them permanently miserable, torturing them into compliance with the narrator’s absurd ideals (valuing pregnancy by rape over pregnancy by consensual sex?), and knowingly dodging consequences for violent crimes.

Your rapist ideology is simple and sadistic enough that I don’t think it’s likely that you’ll encounter many people who agree with it, especially when you package in the consequences as perks or incidental details. But then again, people think Lolita is about love because the (rapist) narrator is emotionally involved with his victim.

I’ve considered posting my more pro-rape ideas--including “why rape is better than consensual sex, self-serving evopsych edition” and one narrated by a molested child--but I’m afraid of what people will make of them. My writing so far hasn’t been very “ideological”; the narrators haven’t come up with justifications beyond it-makes-me-horny.

The latter in particular, I’m not sure if it’ll ever be safe to share. An accurate summary of the worldview of a child who has been manipulated into sharing the goals of the adult who molests them also by necessity contains crucial pieces of a template for making such children. Torture techniques are dangerous to reveal, especially the effective ones. But, at the same time, censorship, even voluntarily created and upheld, leaves victims struggling with the unspeakable. It’s a difficult square to circle.

I think your work is an important addition to the corpus of sexual trauma fiction, even if it does include partial (and not especially effective) templates for enacting trauma on others, because your out-of-scene ideology, expressed here directly and in your scenes as subtext, shines through in your sensitive and nuanced treatment of sexual ethics. I wish I could be confident that would always be true when writers meant well.

Of course not babygirl. You’re my darling little girl and I love you very much. But I’m going to need you to lie back, and take those clothes off, and hold onto me, okay? 

The thought that, as I felt someone enter my body against my will, they were using me not just for pleasure. That this man, who I hate for what he’s doing to me, is going to look me in the eye and pointedly, calmly explain that he is raping me pregnant, that at the end of this his goal is to have his seed take root in my belly. That he is going to force me to carry a new person inside me, against my will, feel is kicking its way to life within my body for the next nine entire months, and then give birth to it. It makes me tremble at the idea of it, of feeling a warm jet of pre-cum thud against my cervix, wondering if my rapist has already succeeded in impregnating me.

It’s horrifying. You could just use me, in every way, and I’d have no input on the process from beginning to end. The violation. Carrying the product of rape. Feeling labor begin, nothing preparing me for how humiliating and agonizing of a process giving birth to your unwanted life-ruiner would be. Everyone judging me for the entire pregnancy, losing friends and family as they accuse me of lying, only to be here at the end of it, alone (or at least I would HOPE alone, and then I’m not enduring this agonizing shame in front of people…) and scared, your rape baby coming, opening me inside, violating me just like one who put it inside me in the first place, but so, so much worse.

And even more devastating would be knowing how eager and ready my body was for this. My body will have changed so much for you, becoming fertile, swollen, motherly. You took over my being with the child you raped into my womb, and my entire being sans my mind was delighted by it, eagerly growing its most special gift to reward you for violating me.

The knowledge swirling through my mind as the need to bear down overwhelms me is crushing. This is what I’m FOR, the purpose for my existance as a female, no matter how much I try to deny it. That I can have my hopes and dreams, aspirations, hobbies, friends, career, and at any moment you or someone like you can casually, effortlessly come along and steal it all away, change my entire life forever. You have the choice to just force your seed into my womb and vanish, but I’ll have to endure it taking root, sprouting, and then have to helplessly give birth to it. You can do it at any time, off of a whim, with no real reason other than you wanted to, and never HAVE to look back unless you want to savor how much pain and despair you’ve caused me, how you and your rape baby have ruined my entire life.

I was made to bear life, even if I don’t want to. ESPECILLY if I don’t want to. My only real defence in today’s world is to pray nobody decides I should carry their seed. Because once they do, all I can do is watch as my body does what it was made to do, unable to do anything to slow it, let alone stop it.

And the entire time, I know it probably won’t be the last time.