Policy proposal: we create a big device that spins really fast and put all annoying people into it
todays bird

shark vs the universe
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Show & Tell
Claire Keane

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
dirt enthusiast
sheepfilms
Misplaced Lens Cap
Today's Document
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

Origami Around

blake kathryn
AnasAbdin
Sade Olutola
noise dept.
Mike Driver

Kaledo Art

Love Begins

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@anathemadev
Policy proposal: we create a big device that spins really fast and put all annoying people into it

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Can never be too safe
your level of education means nothing if you never learned any compassion
BIG BIRD IS TALKING ABOUT HUS COUSINS ON TWITTER THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Garibaldo....
the :( at the end-
TELL GARIBALDO YOU’RE SORRY!
Garibaldo sniffling in a corner while all the other cousins kick your ass for talkin shit.
omfg I was watching this sound off but then I was like "wait what if they're making cute lil animal noises" so I turned the sound on and fucking lost it

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
josh?
where’s the body of christ?
It's actually kind of insane that we give cats catnip, like you're just like hmm I'm not busy today so why not let my cat trip balls for a while as a treat
Nice try FBI
This would get me
Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system
(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy
One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable
To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit
"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."
I love this lamp because it's like, oh a nice little piece for an end table :)
WRONG!!!
for the low low price of £6000, you too can have a life-sized horse statue with a lamp on its head within your house, eternally judging you with its onyx gaze

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
i’m like if a man and a woman had a baby and it grew up in a tumultuous society with undiagnosed mental disorders and unrestricted internet access
hate when folk call the Sun “our nearest star” no you dweebs that’s OUR STAR! After everything she's done for you and you want to compare her to some lightyears away ass nobody called some shit like Guncho 785B? We're not spinning eternally around any old ball, we’re three deep in the window on board the Sol Train and she did NOT provide the catering, the itinerary and all the fuel to share credit with some two-bit Proxima Centauri hack. point to these nuts in a constellation while you're at it. i love the sun
can you tell the days are getting longer again
i have a friend who has kinda bad eczema on their right hand but their left hand is fine and thats because acidity makes eczema worse and that includes vaginal acidity and my friend is both a lesbian and a slut so they finger a lot of people and that fucks up the hand they use (their right hand). Anyways do you think BBC sherlock would deduce that by looking at my friend’s hands
nothing couldve prepared me for the last sentence
every time i have salmon it's like. bears are right. i would also stand in a stream for this.
They are also right about: honey, berries, napping all winter, and lack of pants. So really, bears are just living the best life possible.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Some people say that cats don't make expressions but you can see the thoughts in this boy's head plain as day
[Read more comics at Herogirl!]
One of the kids I’m babysitting rn just asked me, “Miss Amy, can I tell you a secret?” and then informed me that his brother does not have blood anymore, because they saw a doctor take it
Same kid that attended this Sunday’s church service in full vampire bat costume and screeched loudly anytime someone said his name
Update his two year old brother just handed me a partially squished cockroach
Today’s secret is “if I carry too many things, I die,” and he definitely, for sure did not tell me that specifically because I asked him to pick up his jacket moments beforehand
“Where’s the tiger?” the five year old asks, peering around the zoo. “I don’t see him!”
“Probably he had to get his covid shot,” says the three year old, nodding wisely.
How could I possibly forget this exchange
“You can’t play with my skunk,” says the three year old, snatching the toy from the five year old. “Mr. Skunk doesn’t like you.”
“Whoa, whoa,” I say, while driving. “Mr. Skunk likes everyone!”
The three year old makes direct eye contact with me in the rear view mirror. “Except the police,” he says darkly.
Overwhelmed! When the five year old learned that I’m having a bad day today, he immediately asked me to take him home so he can “get us a snack and help with whatever you want to do today.”
The three year old has offered to carry all the backpacks into the house, despite his former statements re: dying if asked to carry his own belongings
Today the two year old stole the headphones I always wear, put them on upside down, and ran away yelling “hi Babydoll!” over and over, which is in fact how I greet him. I did not come here to be roasted by a toddler
I recently put a purple streak in my hair! The three year old says that he loves it. He says he loves my brown hair too, because it’s beautiful. I feel very loved and I am going to bake him cookies about it
The three year old has covid (he’s okay), so I won’t be seeing the children this week :(
Here's another story from last week instead:
“Do you want to come make paper airplanes?” the five year old asks. “I have a book that teaches you how.”
“Sure,” I say, following him upstairs. “I like paper airplanes.”
“It’ll be easy for you,” the five year old assures me, “because you can-- wait. Can you read?”
The three year old has recovered <3
He’s also a little confused by the phrase “playing a trick,” so if he suspects I’m teasing him, he’ll point and yell “you’re tricking!” instead
Today he told me that I’m “always tricking…… kind of like satan”
I have never in my life laughed this hard
Hi! This may actually be the last update on this post because I’m moving cities soon, but with that in mind I have some things to add:
The five year old and the three year old both have separate imaginary friends with the same name, which is Speed. They differentiate between Speeds solely by saying “my Speed” or “his Speed.” Yes, it does get confusing
The three year old’s Speed has a tragic backstory! His childhood home got destroyed by a meteor when he was very young. He also has some level of magical power, which he uses to resurrect himself whenever he dies, which happens often, sometimes at the three year old’s hand
When I asked the three year old about his Speed’s resurrection powers, he told me that yes, Speed does knows how to come back to life; Speed does not, however, enjoy coming back to life (because he knows that he will die again, over and over)
Their dad is a general contractor, which means that all three toddlers have a really intense relationship with building blocks and also a working knowledge of construction law, which means that I (an attorney) do live a life where every once in awhile I ask a five year old if he’s building skyscrapers and he tells me no, they’re not zoned for commercial
Last time I babysat for them, the three year old let me know that they have a new member of their household! Now I did assume this had something to do with their very pregnant mother, but I was wrong— the new member is a third Speed who belongs, of course, to the two year old. His Speed does not, to my knowledge, resurrect
Their baby sister was born two hours after that :)
How old does the sister have to be before she gets a Speed