De Owsem Ai

I miss your smile. I miss your voice. I miss your hugs and kisses. I miss your silliness. I miss the way you tease me. I miss the way you make me feel so loved. I miss the way you call my name and it’s like music to my ears. I miss the feeling how you bring butterflies in my stomach. I miss all of you. I miss you being here with me. I miss you so crazy.

10 basic things i learned this year 1) If you try and carry the world on your shoulders, it will crush you 2) 19 years is not an adult, youre just a confused teenager with adult privileges and expectations 3) When he drops you, you gotta pick yourself up 4) Appreciate the good songs that make you daydream 5) Love your family. They care more than you know 6) Drugs arent worth it, neither is the person who offered them 7) Dogs are pretty much the only creatures you should fully trust 8) It takes time. It all takes time. Thats ok 9) You can cry, just dont expect people to notice 10) you have to love yourself. You have to.

A lot of people don’t understand why a girl would keep letting the same corruptive, toxic young boy back into her life when he keeps somehow hurting her each time. People don’t understand how a girl as pure and delicate as her would even fall for a boy and sinful and disastrous as him. People don’t understand why she loves him even when he breaks her whole world apart. And it is hard to understand I get it but most people are just looking at the surface of their love, their love is so much deeper than that. He may hurt her, but nobody can make her smile like he does. He may break her but nobody can pick back up the pieces like he does. He is the reason that life isn’t so bland and normal, he’s the reason she actually feels emotions, he’s the reason she met one of her best friends, he’s the reason she’s been able to actually experience real life and not some fantasy her mother grew her up to see life as, he’s the reason that she is able to know what real love is and how it feels. To other people it may seem like he’s the only reason she expirences pain, but he’s not. He may bring her some pain but he brings her happiness more than anything else and she does the same for him. She’s the reason he’s been able to love again, she’s the reason he doesn’t have nightmares at night, she’s the reason that he has been able to not always see the bad things in life, she’s the reason he ever smiles at all anymore. In everything there has ever been there has been flaws. Nothing is ever going to always be perfect. They’ve learned that especially…they’ve been able to see past their flaws and just love another for who they are. Because they know without eachother their lives would be even more corrupt then they are with each other. They know that without the bad you can’t really have the good. They know that you have to expirence some darkness before you can fully expirence the life. And because of all of this that’s why their love works. People may not understand it and how their love works but they don’t need them to, frankly at times they don’t even understand it themselves. But what they do know is their love is stronger than anything they’ve ever known and that they don’t ever want to loose eachother because their lives are better now with each other then they’ve ever been.

That’s what was great about him. He tried. Not many do…

When I’m gone, I hope you read all my posts on Tumblr and my tweets. All that is about you, I talked about and wrote down. And I hope when the time comes, you don’t cry when you read it. I don’t want you to be sad. Just don’t. I love you.

I want to be your favorite person. I want to be someone who is more than your friend. I want to be someone who you can tell everything to, it can be from the smallest bits of your life to your biggest detail of yourself. Tell me your favorite dish, tell me why you cried the last night I called, tell me where your moles and birthmarks are, tell me who’s the friend you lost and what happened, tell me the people who broke your heart, tell me everything. I want you to share your secrets you never told to anyone – your dark side. I want to know your thoughts and dreams, everything about you, everything that builds you. I want to be that person. I want you to open up and comfort you every time something or someone upsets you. We could go for hours talking about yourself, I don’t mind. I’d be glad to listen to your voice and just listen to every word you’ll say. I want you to trust me.

Book of the day: Three Wishes by Liane Moriarty

“No, I don’t want you to know how I drink my coffee. I don’t want you to know if I prefer tea or how I like my toast. I don’t want you to memorize my exact facial expressions or know who broke my heart years ago. Because frankly, my mind changes like the weather and I can’t decide on one thing for a few minutes without changing my mind. So no, I’m not the type of girl you’ll ever fully know inside out. Each day a part of me disappears into a new design. To you, I am a walking mystery and that’s all I ever want to be.”

I don’t understand people who don’t like sharing their happiness. Everytime I come across a book, an album, a TV series, a place I love, I am so excited to share it with my friends who I believe will love it too. Lately I’ve come to realize that many people stay sush about these things because somehow they believe hoarding on happiness is going to increase it. What fools.

she was just scared scared to fall in love scared to lose herself in it all because she knew she would and she did

God send him to me, but please don’t let me be too afraid to love him.

I choose to love you in silence because in silence I find no rejection, and in silence no one owns you but me.

Book of the day: All The Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr