꩜

she loved people and art and had hope for the future

she used to read, write, draw, exercise, socialize

I've become angry and hateful, only able to create on occasion, and hopeless

death, addiction, trauma, agoraphobia, mental instability, financial instability, career instability

on top of witnessing genocides, the destruction of nature, the abuse of children, the rise of ai, fascism...

while I avoid people in my life who are okay with these things... or just yell at them

it's all become so much that I can barely function

I'm completely delusional most of the time now, dissociating and daydreaming without noticing anything in reality and consuming anything that will distract me from my screaming mind

I often think about the kind of future I was shown in learning programs and children's shows growing up