“Scene from the Apocalypse,” by Frances Danby, 1829. Oil on canvas.

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“Scene from the Apocalypse,” by Frances Danby, 1829. Oil on canvas.

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One day you’ll have whatever it is you’re now so confusedly seeking. That kind of calm that comes from knowing oneself and others. But you can’t rush the arrival of that state of mind. There are things you only learn when no one teaches them. And that’s how it is with life. There’s even more beauty in discovering it for yourself, in spite of the suffering.
Clarice Lispector, from “Gertrudes asks for advice” in The Complete Stories
i'm gonna get an abortion tomorrow and i'm doing it because of money , psychological issues and above all the actual world situation which is the saddest and toughest but clearer decision i've ever taken. i still want a baby and wanting to give birth is giving me hope to fight for a better future, i guess. thinking about cohousing again, moving to the countryside etc. carrying an embryo in your utero is crazy, i feel like a shiny goddess and i want to feel it again, for as long as it takes, but purposely and not out of self redemption goals. i would use them as an amulet and i want to be fully present; right now i'm not. it will be beautiful and not scary. i will be ready.
Snuffy's Puppies (1998)

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Triplice sgomento dell'amore:
un bagliore di fiamma nel cavo di un orecchio,
ali che battono in giro per la stanza;
sgomento d'ogni sgomento,
recare i cieli nel mio grembo.
Non ero forse contenta nella scena
che ogni donna comune conosce,
il camino, il vialetto del giardino,
la cisterna di pietra dove battiamo i panni
e raccogliamo le chiacchere?
Che cos'è questa carne che acquistai con dolore,
questa stella caduta che il mio latte sostenta,
questo amore che arresta il mio sangue nel cuore
o mette un freddo improvviso nelle ossa
e fa rizzare i capelli?
William Butler Yeats
my b be like working a 9/5, gym and strict diet while im home making collages with a kitten-shaped glue and pink glitter eating pastries and reading alchemy essays. i'm not even a trad wife i'm a trad sorceress of god pan

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watched dancer in the dark for the first time ever and i kinda almost fainted as the main recurring song is my favourite things by the 60s musical sound of music which i played when i was a kid and that very song is my anthem, me and t.'s special song and it's the lullaby i always sing to my niece. play that at my funeral
watched dancer in the dark for the first time ever and i kinda almost fainted as the main recurring song is my favourite things by the 60s musical sound of music which i played when i was a kid and that very song is my anthem, me and t.'s special song and it's the lullaby i always sing to my niece. play that at my funeral
t shirt that says I MISS EVERYONE I WAS EVER FLEETINGLY CLOSE TO SO MUCH THAT IT KILLS

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black out yesterday during a thunderstorm, lit every candle i had at home. fell asleep (found wax everywhere). woke up to news the pub was going to be closed today, went eating some sushi with my man, i had a cute outfit. fell asleep in his arms. it stopped raining and i'm going on a walk. tomatos on my terrace are exploding already
By Anja Müller, published in Mein lesbisches Auge 03 in 2002