bestiaccia

i'm gonna get an abortion tomorrow and i'm doing it because of money , psychological issues and above all the actual world situation which is the saddest and toughest but clearer decision i've ever taken. i still want a baby and wanting to give birth is giving me hope to fight for a better future, i guess. thinking about cohousing again, moving to the countryside etc. carrying an embryo in your utero is crazy, i feel like a shiny goddess and i want to feel it again, for as long as it takes, but purposely and not out of self redemption goals. i would use them as an amulet and i want to be fully present; right now i'm not. it will be beautiful and not scary. i will be ready.

my b be like working a 9/5, gym and strict diet while im home making collages with a kitten-shaped glue and pink glitter eating pastries and reading alchemy essays. i'm not even a trad wife i'm a trad sorceress of god pan

watched dancer in the dark for the first time ever and i kinda almost fainted as the main recurring song is my favourite things by the 60s musical sound of music which i played when i was a kid and that very song is my anthem, me and t.'s special song and it's the lullaby i always sing to my niece. play that at my funeral

black out yesterday during a thunderstorm, lit every candle i had at home. fell asleep (found wax everywhere). woke up to news the pub was going to be closed today, went eating some sushi with my man, i had a cute outfit. fell asleep in his arms. it stopped raining and i'm going on a walk. tomatos on my terrace are exploding already