a master of chaos

The snort came unintentionally. Normally, she’d do her best to skirt past the Slytherin table without drawing attention to herself. “Maybe you should try explaining it to me then?” Subtle sarcasm laced her tone as she spoke. “I’ve heard that jokes are funnier when they’re over-explained in attempt to appeal to everyone’s sense of humor.”

Amycus rolled his eyes, definitely not in the mood to deal with the girl’s sarcasm. “Is your drive by past the rich and beautiful almost over, mudblood? You’re dragging down the market value of our table just standing here. You belong over there,” he said, pointing to a bin near the doorway, “with the rest of the trash. In fact, I think I just saw Evans hop in. Follow her lead and go the fuck away.”

“Oh no, no”, the green haired girl said clutching her books to her chest. “I thought it was funny, really!”

“Must’ve been my imagination, then” he said, shrugging. “Where you going, Em?”

“Was the joke actually about you?” Lily was in a sour mood and hadn’t even paid enough attention to his joke enough to judge whether it was good or not, but she couldn’t help how irritable she was. 

“Was that supposed to be an insult?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Judges? Mhmm..” he nodded, pulling an unimpressed face. “’Oh. Yeah, that was pathetic. My grandmother can hurt more feelings than you, Evans, and she’s been dead for ten years. Why don’t you go run along to your little boyfriend, and he can make you feel good about yourself and your insults, since no one around here is going to.”

“The houseelves were a little too generous when I went down there for a snack.” 

“I guess I could eat a cupcake,” he said with a chuckle, reaching out to take the offered sweet.  “Gotta say, you’re taking this better than I thought you would.”

“how predictable.” she said, rolling her eyes. “is selfish your middle name ? or is it I don’t care if someone dies of thirst ? I’ll find a way to get a drink without getting up just wait and see.”

“Uh, no, those’re stupid middle names. Mine’s Apollo.” Well, the veritaserum was definitely kicking in, now, and Amycus rolled his eyes at the “confession” he’d made.  “Yeah, maybe if you started stripping, or someone takes pity on you, but you won’t get pity or a drink from me. Don’t think you want it, anyways, unless you want to spill all your secrets.”

“I don’t get it. The drinks were spiked with what now?” 

“Some jackass put veritaserum in everything. It wasn’t me, though.” 

“is there a reason why you are so rude ?” Glenda said, sighing deeply. “I don’t feel like it.”

“You asked, I answered. What’s rude about that?” Amycus raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? That sounds like a personal problem to me. Guess you won’t be getting a drink any time soon, then.”

Lucius wanted to say that he didn’t get that intoxicated. Usually he didn’t, but something about how the drinks tasted. This wasn’t his finest moment in time.  While Narcissa had excused herself for a minute he turned around and spotted Amycus across the room. 

In his drunken stupor, he started a running sprint towards the other boy. Arms open. “CATCH ME AM. I’M NOT A BIRD”

One minute, he was standing, drinking, chatting away contentedly, and the next he heard a shout from a familiar voice, demanding he be caught, and turned just in time to see Lucius launching himself. It didn’t take much more than a second for Amycus to be ready - he was always ready to handle whatever Lucius got himself into. What else was there to do besides throw his drink to the wayside and catch him? There was nothing, so that was exactly what Amycus did. His hands were free a mere second or two before Lucius hit them, and then Amycus was hoisting him up into the air, Dirty Dancing style.

“Well, you’re a bird now,” he said, laughing as he held his friend aloft. “Are you having the time of your life?”

“Show off.”

“It’s okay, Vale, I can teach you. Here, let’s start with your basic boy band move. The ladies’ll love this one.”

“If I wanted to dance, I would be over there dancing already. Clearly, I am not so therefore lies the answer to your question.”

“An answer to a question I hadn’t asked yet. Bold of you, Skeeter, to assume that you know what I’m thinking... Tell me. Why would I ask you to dance? I’d rather dance with Mulciber, to be honest.”

“Shut up no, it goes like this.”

“Nice one, Mulci, but you look dumb. Try this one on for size.”

“I think I know who ruined the party, if I tell would you get me a drink ?”

“Lemme think.... No, because I don’t care. Get your own drink, Chittock. You have legs.”