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Sue Zhao

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Sue Zhao

angesirene

Adélia Prado - Denouement, tr. by Ellen Doré Watson

expromqueen

Atonement (2007) dir. Joe Wright // Lonely by Natalie Wee // “Holding hands” by Daniel Arsham, 2015 // Taking the Hands by Robert Bly // Pride and Prejudice (2005) dir. Joe Wright // Your Hands by Florence Ripley Mastin // Anna Karenina (2012) dir. Joe Wright // No Children by The Mountain Goats // Emma (2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde

existential-celestial

Mary Oliver, from “Dog Fish,” in Dream Work

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creatingnikki

I can make jokes like “really really thought this person would not be a lesson but I guess I just like learning #nerd #emotionaldamage” and I can write poetry in 한글 (Korean) but the truth is, I was not expecting this and it hurts a lot more than I would like to admit.

Every time this happens, I think a big part of what fucks me - other than losing hope and believing a little less and a little less and a little less - is that I get so mad at my judgement of people. I get disappointed, shocked, but really just angry that here goes another person that I totally read wrong or thought I had figured out or knew the basics of - their disposition and their emotions towards me - but no I got it horribly wrong.

I think it does trace back to the first and the biggest betrayal I experienced in my life. The betrayal that taught me that when your heart shatters, it makes no sound. It is silent. It numbs you. It adds traces of doubt, fear, guilt, and shame to your blood stream that you can never get rid of. That just keeps circulating through your heart and reaches every part of your being.

So now every time I meet anyone, but especially a guy in a romantic sense, I really cannot take it if I get them wrong. Every such experience keeps increasing the concentration of that distrust in my blood - distrust towards others, yes, but distrust towards myself and my ability, sensibility, and will to protect myself. And it’s a very scary way to live ; a life where you don’t trust your own self.

tear-dropp-deactivated20241031

mental health status: need to look at the sea for hours and stay quiet

wakeupnat

I’m literally just sitting in my car crying. I still don’t understand why things happened the way they did.

butterflypeaflowertea

every so often i remember this poem by langston hughes & am inconsolable

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quotemadness

“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”

— Paulo Coelho

1217love

quotemadness

“When someone gives you a rare insight into their life, do not repay that gesture by betraying their trust.”

— Dodinsky

chibird

This magical bunny has been practicing helpful spells all week! ✨Other notable spells include: motivational spirit-booster, good weather charm, and ward against small irritations.

Chibird store | Positive Pin Club | Webtoon

weltenwellen

Wisława Szymborska, tr. by Clare Cavanagh and Stanisław Barańczak, from “Moment of Silence”, Map: Collected and Last Poems

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