Talk Hard

I don't know how to divide my curiosity.

I like to give people the attention they deserve, until I've learned they no longer deserve it. I want to explore you — your every detail, down to the birthmark on your ear, the sound of your laugh, your breakfast of choice, your interests, and the way your essence makes me feel.

Is this someone I could walk beside, and through life?

Why do i allow myself to get excited so early on?

But then, objectively, it seems to be within good reason. Like he's asking to see me, he's messaging me every hour, sending selfies to each other, photos of our foods, creating inside jokes, sharing details of our lives, and creating a collaborative playlist to then...

Everything in me wishes I could just not care, that I could just simply have casual sex and forget the guy I've slept with and move on about my day. I wish I could be more like samantha from SATC, hell i don't even think charlotte is as reserved as I am.

But I'm so cautious, too sensitive, too emotional. I've only been intimate with two men in my entire life. It's this long game. And I'm tired. I wish I was built differently.