Harold, I'm lesbians

“what time is it” you ask, i pull out my 2.7 metric ton granite sundial and immediately crush both of your feet, I loudly announce “it is cloudy”

neo-noir sci fi is so wild to me… it’s so dark…their technology can make clones and androids and holo screens as big as a skyscraper…but not apparently light bulbs that fucking work

as my grandma once said, “man can do anything - fly to the moon, rovers on mars - but has yet to make a decent pair of stockings”

your grandma is a fuckin icon

TOS Kirk always looks vaguely panicked during a fight. He’s the human embodiment of, “shit shit shit shit shit shit shi– oh, that worked?” 

god made me gay so i could appreciate star trek better than any cishet ever could

TNG is like. the NPR of star trek series. like it has the same vibe as a very polite but occasionally wild block of public radio programming i can’t explain it. also the sheer number of classical music concerts that happen in it 

Beauty exploits us!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wake up and be UGLY!!

People who promote juice cleanses and like Consuming charcoal literally sound like “doctors” in Ancient Greece who thought people could get “hysteria” when their uterus moved around the body at will towards and away good or bad smells like stop trying to get me to go on a liquid diet I know it’s you Pliny The Elder

where’s the pic of that guy’s tinder bio where he says something along the lines of “well i’m a fat fuck with a big truck. welcome to the shitshow.”

thanks. this is literally the best tinder bio ever