pay attention to me

I said I love you on an exhale And before I could even empty my lungs You were exhaling back My butterflies released My daisy plucked You, the one I was going to love The angels singing “Glory to God” What a miracle it is To be in love

Im sick of all this agitation That comes from your healthy lifestyle choices And your constant patience You bend over backwards You fall to  my knees But the truth is, honey, You’re too good for me You don’t cuss and you don’t drink You think  what I think You cling to my words  Won't admit if yo're hurt No you’re much too bland Can’t be more than a friend You're too good for me

You took away my creative power Oh ,what a shame Because I’m happy now And I’m healthy now But I’m left craving your pain Because the words came out easier The imagery was better When my soul could bleed onto a page Now I paint suns and flowers and trees And they always look the same

Your should-be lover smokes grass in a matching bra and panty set at the foot of your bed. She inhales, but she would never dare smoke a cigarette because -That shit- Causes Cancer. Ironically though, she never wears sunscreen. She’s smaller than me. Not quite as smart as me. Has some sort of tragedy that she just cant get over. Something about an ex-boyfriend in a past life or something. She cries all the goddamn time, but you never mind. You let her cry on your shoulder, just an excuse to hold her. Which always leads to something a little bit more – Up your alley. Her laugh is cleaner than mine. Her chest a little less prominent than mine. But she’s real good at opening up. That’s all that matters. Right? Your should-be lover obviously paints or takes photos or both. You always compliment her, but they are not as good as yours. In fact, she doesn’t even know you own a camera. She has a one word tattoo on her left wrist Because it’s “so meaningful” You told her it was sexy That was a lie. Your should be lover casually starves herself She has lips that smile and hips that fit perfectly into the grooves of your crotch And you are so happy because that’s only happened once before She looks at vogue with the devotion of a high school drop out Between sips of skinny girl vodka which she drinks “for the taste” She wears red to prove she’s worth something And eyeliner to hide her soul And you probably think it’s a little much But you don’t tell her Your should be lover hates lana del rey and you’re so grateful because now she can’t remind you of me. She complains about the plain white sheets,  I always thought looked just like you. She gets annoyed when you talk about music for more than fifteen minutes She thinks you’re out of control because you refuse to hold her hair back for the fifth time that weekend. Yet you remain so satisfied Because the empty space in your plain white bed is finally filled with something besides silence Distracting your thoughts from solving the mystery of what we were. So while she is talking about caviar the way I talk about books You blank your mind and focus on her lips Hoping that their constant movement will convince you that She is so much better.

New hearts never lie They tumble down and then they cry Stitch themselves back together Old hearts lie because they know better New hearts freely speak Words from caverns hidden deep Until too much has been given up Old hearts’ caverns on a lock New hearts easily rejoice Chasing fireflies and silly boys Thinking the light will last forever Old hearts know flowers wither

i think about it often what we couldve been we couldve been in love if one of us would just pretend You tasted like apologies And you made me feel like sin You were great at ignoring me And I was great at giving in You liked your eyes quite hazy I like my very clear You were so close to owning me But I pulled back when you got too near We sipped each others vessels I accidently spilled my cup You became so much less interesting When I stopped hiccing-up

someone asked me to describe falling in love you with you I laughed That’s exactly what it was Laughter Over and over and over again

you and your new girl are dancing in your bedroom next door while I’m cleaning up mistakes off of your bathroom floor you’re pretending that you’re hiding secrets I’ve never seen but when she begins to cry you’ll be running to me apologies don’t count if they are a year too late apologies don’t count if there is nothing to save desperate little dinners turn to “I want you” desperate little dinners turn to nothing to lose whisper at me while I’m blow drying my hair we will maintain our friendship on pretexts no longer there you in the shadow of my light and its glorious shine we’ve had a couple things in common but it wasn’t our minds we’re on the same page of two different books we would probably be in love if it wasn’t for you without monotonous way of life with only one goal in mind “how do I increase the hours I spend with blood lining my eyes?” this all comes down to me just being not enough this all comes down to you just being not what I want we were a cute little thing but it’s over now just remember when she leaves, I’ll still be hanging around

Remember that girl with the sea in her eyes, With the sky on her face And a trick in her smile The girl who said one plus none equaled infinity Though people begged to be within her proximity The one who desired to dance with thunder and lightening Who refuse to do anything short of exciting The girl whose name was the most captivating  sound Well she has a boyfriend now