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You deserve to be complimented! People will see the amazing things about you! Yes, there are people out there who are insincere, but there are so many more who genuinely want to share with you how wonderful you are. You ARE amazing, and you DO deserve to be told that.
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“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.”
As always, you’ll never be perfect, so enjoy who you are. If you’re non-stop critiquing yourself and trying to self improve 24/7, you won’t enjoy life. So enjoy who you are, but also work to improve. Find a balance. ILY
Health:
Have a healthy sleep schedule
Start incorporating healthier foods into your diet
Reminders: you are allowed to be angry and sad with people when they hurt you, even if they are sensitive and can't cope well with being told they did something wrong. their sensitivity does not mean you have to bottle up your feelings in that situation. their lack of coping skills does not make you talking about your feelings abusive or bad.
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what matters most about your interests is that they make you happy. whether other people find them productive is irrelevant. you don't have to produce anything. you are not a machine. your interests aren't for others. your interests are for you. do what makes you happy.
I cannot express how important it is to brush your teeth and floss regularly. It's especially important as so many people don't have dental coverage and that preventative work saves you so much pain and money in the long run. I know it sucks and it is so hard, but you'll also feel so good after doing it. And when you start doing it regularly, you'll find your mouth and gums feel so much better. If you've already done it today, good job! I'm so proud of you and so happy for you!
Sometimes self care is doing the hard thing. Sometimes it means getting up and going to work or school, even if it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes it’s going to see friends even if you want to stay under the cover. Sometimes it’s worth a little push for the sake of your healing.
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A lot of the time, our negative thoughts may be made really strong by our emotions. For example, we might feel like we can't do anything right, that all we do is fail. Now it can be hard to believe, but while emotions can be strong, they aren't facts. Just because we feel like a failure doesn't mean we are. One way to work on this is by examining the evidence of our negative thought.
To combat this, we might make a list of things that we've done right or succeeded at. This is an example of examining the evidence. This list could be anything from big accomplishments to little victories or anything you're proud of. Here's an example of mine:
Managed to shower today even though it was hard.
Got my BA
Made it through every bad day I've ever had (that's a 100% success rate!)
Listened to a friend vent and offered support
I tried different things even though it was scary.
I've said "I'm sorry" and meant it. I've admitted I was wrong and swallowed my pride to admit that.
If you're up to sharing, what are some of your victories, accomplishments or things you're proud of?
Check below the read more for a more detailed way to examine the evidence.
Examining the evidence is basically like "Putting Your Thoughts on Trial."
Let's start with the situation that started these negative thoughts. (What happened, who was involved, and where and how did it happen?)
And let's put a mood to that situation.
Example: I feel embarrassed.
What thoughts arise in response to this situation? List as many as you think of.
Example: I feel like a failure! I can't do anything right. I'm never going to succeed at anything.
Okay. Now let's examine the evidence that supports this thought. (If there are more than one, pick the one that feels the strongest.)Thos needs to be evidence that's considered credible, so things like "I ruin everything!" are statements, and not actual evidence.
Example: I failed my test.
Now we're going to look at evidence that does not support the thought. We're looking for holes in your general thought. For this one, we'll stick with our previous example. "I feel like a failure. I can't do anything right! I'm never going to succeed at anything."
Example: I have passed tests before. I helped a friend who was upset today.
Now let's try and find a balanced thought.
Example: I mess up sometimes, but that's okay because there are a lot of times I don't mess up.
Sometimes, these things may bring us to a situation that does need solving. Like perhaps, you can't pass the class by failing this test, and in a case like this, it's important to stop and remember that that does not indicate that you are failure. Try not to work on solving the problem until your thoughts are not spiraling.
A huge part of this is trying to put facts to a situation and not seeing our emotions as facts. Feeling like a failure does not mean you are a failure. And that's really important to try and recognize.
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