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I've moved my #30to30 ramblings into their own location. Have fun reading them here.

And that goes for more than just romantic relationships. This quote popped into my head today as I struggled to deal with someone who refuses to try and understand me. While I once called them a friend, I now go out of my way to avoid them for fear of being cursed at or belittled with no explanation. And while I know I shouldn't want a friend like that, it still hurts a lot. These are feelings I did not expect to still struggle with approaching 30. But the sad thing is, this is a pattern. I have ended many a romantic relationship because of similar treatment. But it always takes me too long to act. This results in me having to spend a lot of time re-building up my self-esteem only to have it take another hit the next time I try. I guess I am attracted to these people because I had a rough childhood and crave unconditional love and acceptance. To be clear: I am not saying I am a victim. I am saying I am clearly part of the reason this keeps happening. I will say the hardest thing to deal with is the fact many of these people in my life never realized they were also part of the problem. I am not sure how to only accept and cherish certain types of love. I assume it starts inside first. My only hope is I have this all figured out by 40.

So this marks the start of my #30to30 challenge to myself. I am 2 days late but it's something I really want to do so here goes nothing. This picture, sent to me by a good friend, is a reminder to me to start living a positive life. Each day for the last 30 (or rather 28 at this point) of my 20's will be dedicated to living my life to the fullest. I also would like to push for a much more positive outlook; something I have struggled with all my life. I cannot even remember a time in my childhood where I wasn't worried about something. To recap the last two days: I spent April 10th "biking" Costa Rica and "time-traveling" to the 50's. (Which is a fancy way to say I took spin and performed in "The Pajama Game" at a local community theater.) These are 2 things I do for me, and no one else. (Although I hope the show audiences do get something out of my performance.) I spent April 12th in a newsroom covering a really horrible story about 4 missing boaters. By the end of the day we learned 3 of them were dead, one of them just 9 years old. It served as a reminder to tell all my loved ones how much they mean to me, because you never know when something could change. Now... Onto the next post.

This is everything.

This.

I'm late to this party, but never have I found a smartphone game that I actually loved like I loved this game. I recommend it and can't wait to play the sequels!

I'm sorry if this is offensive but really. I'm technically a millennial, and I see this every day.

#deepquestions

Am I said because I can't sleep or can I not sleep because I am sad?

Can I tag myself?