Forgive Me, For I Dont Give A Fuck

he made my wife and i (i’m a woman) a giant banner for our one year anniversary 

when i was pregnant, the baby was kicking and when he touched my belly, the baby stopped and he called him a little shit

he once called and left a voicemail asking how to spell styrofoam

he flipped a table bc he saw someone hit a dog

he beat skrim in 4 days

he served in the korean war and when he came home, he learned korean so if he ever ran into a korean vet, he could “give them the same respect he’d give an american vet”

my son has two moms and there was a “special guy in your life” day at his school for father’s day so my grandpa went and showed up in dress pants and a pressed shirt bc he “didn’t want to embarrass him”. also, there was a little boy who didn’t have anyone there and grandpa asked if he could be his “special guy” and the little boy beamed

he knows all of the secrets to the zelda games