me in honey

ooooh look at me I'm so hot sexy and beautiful and charming and friendly to everyone... 🙄

I will probably get through this just like I have gotten through everything before but I need to be really stressed and scared first

having a multi year long character obsession becomes like a abstract thought experiment at some point

how can i communicate to wild bunnies that i am their ally

fantasizing about you fantasizing about me

sorry for the mixed signals I don’t know what I want or what I’m doing mostly

funniest sound in the world is a cat smacking shit hard as fuck with their little stupid paw

i saw a cat with an honest to god balled-up fist getting ready to hit someone the other day and it made me laugh so hard i cried

my favorite thing about the "guy fieari doesn't swallow" controversy is that in every video i've seen on it there's someone in the comments going "actualy we were featured in diners drive in and dive episode 342 and he came to our restaurant and he definitely ate our food on and off camera like he cleared the plate and he's a really chill dude actualy" and it's like. does guy fieari know that he has a loyal army across America defending him AS WE SPEAK against the stupidest conspiracy theory i've ever heard of

guy fieri doesn’t what now?

i am always one wrong word away from being shot by all the people who find me tolerable