me in honey

funniest sound in the world is a cat smacking shit hard as fuck with their little stupid paw

i saw a cat with an honest to god balled-up fist getting ready to hit someone the other day and it made me laugh so hard i cried

my favorite thing about the "guy fieari doesn't swallow" controversy is that in every video i've seen on it there's someone in the comments going "actualy we were featured in diners drive in and dive episode 342 and he came to our restaurant and he definitely ate our food on and off camera like he cleared the plate and he's a really chill dude actualy" and it's like. does guy fieari know that he has a loyal army across America defending him AS WE SPEAK against the stupidest conspiracy theory i've ever heard of

guy fieri doesn’t what now?

i am always one wrong word away from being shot by all the people who find me tolerable

“what is the target audience of this post” what?????? does your diary have a target audience

all media involving Nicolas Cage becomes infinitely more enjoyable when you start approaching it with the idea that everyone was given a script whilst he was given nothing but a costume and a slap on the arse before being thrown on set

can you lez the fuck in