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better not see no cheating or coming out april fools “jokes“ on twitter tomorrow, i will throw hands

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anyway today fucking sucks :)

it’s me clowning myself for my spotify time capsule playing a thousand years like we didn’t dance to that at our own fucking wedding snfnsjenf

the grammys: selena is getting a lifetime achievement award

also the grammys: we’ll show her for .5 seconds instead of giving her an actual tribute video :-)

#just say you’re r*cist and go you’ve proven it enough tonight

bythegrave-deactivated20211013

thinking about fftl on this fine sunday

#i ghostwrote this

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hey mom

hello sweetest baby 🥺

arf arf

i think you meant barkingnoise.mp3

#skfndksnfj

bythegrave-deactivated20211013

the name is bryan, i yell in knocked loose, fornite king (don’t talk to me about fall damage) one time in high school i fought a jock who was picking on me with a broken hand that i got from skateboarding. i fucked my hand up more and won the fight but he wanted to fight again so he came to my house and my mom opened the door, told me someone was looking for me then told me “well you have to fight him” when i told her he was there to fight. neither of us won the second time, we couldn’t actually fight. anyway if you read all that and you want to be friends find me on hangouts at aserpentstouch

#luv u missed u

ah yes my son bgarris

zxu

if you shake my shoulders i’ll make a wobbling sound like laminated paper

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it’s also animal bath day so if you don’t mind i have a dog, a bearded dragon and a snake to take care of

#and a s*ider but he doesn’t need a bath

this looks like a scandalous outfit with a sweater but it’s honestly my pajamas i haven’t left the house in three days 🤪

#overcooked hot pocket.#body image

anyway shout out to brandon and his shitty metalcore band money for getting me eyebrows i desperately needed 🤪

#no i won’t ever let that joke die #yes i still hate who said it

made that post and immediately went back to sleep :)

yes it’s me, your local nuisance :)

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brandon’s payback for me doing literally anything is sleeping with the AC below 70 and me being anemic aifkekkdjfk

americanfrightmare

eating pickles and trying to kiss my husband, but as a threat

americanfrightmare

the sequel; but with bread and butter pickles 🤪

#food

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