the search for god in the midwest

was looking at pictures of dogs and almost started crying because I’m starting to realize just how bad I crave that kind of unconditional love that truly only animals and children are capable of

wish i was better wish i was stronger wish i was tougher wish i was what you wanted

i like animals more than people because they don’t want anything from me. they love without condition, and all they really want, if anything, is that love reciprocated. there’s always something to explain the things they do. but people are so hard to figure out. there’s always some kind of ulterior motive. why am i somehow wrong for not wanting to hurt people? why am i naive because i can’t understand why people have let me down, over and over and over and over, and i’m angry about it? why do i have to hate myself because its just my nature to love? why am i wrong? why am i wrong?