Hello.

I knew I should’ve gotten the turbo.

did you try setting it to wumbo

IT’S A GIRAFFE

SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT!

I saw your message/email/text/voicemail and told myself I’d return it later when I was more awake/alert/in a better mood/had more information and I pretty much forgot about it until now I’m sorry I’m trash: an autobiography

What a good sheep selfie.

Me: robs a sephora delivery truck

me

✯☽

I wish I could trust people the way he trusts science.

To be fair, most of science is far more predictable and constant than people.

shout out to people who have seen you naked but you can still have regular conversations with

welp now we know the distinction between the two

Have….have people…not eaten shredded wheat before? The regular sized ones? You put it in a bowl and pour milk on it (with sugar + cinnamon if you’re not some lunatic fiber satan who just wants to eat wheat strings) and let it soak a bit before breaking it up and eating bite sized portions with your spoon. DO PEOPLE NOT KNOW THIS?!

NONE OF US KNEW THAT

WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO EAT A FUCKING MOIST BALE OF HAY.

Reblogging for the last comment.

These are actually fantastic, especially with sugar+cinnamon.

My grandma used to have these all the time! I actually haven't seen regular sized ones in forever.