it’s a day just like any other. nothing special in her eyes. the more she looks at the faces that pass her by, and the shops that close in around her, the more she thinks this place isn’t so different from everywhere else she’s been. at the end of the day, it was oddly normal. or perhaps she just expected too much. after all, the city had not only stolen her memories, but given her free housing, gifts, a brand new start. she thought the oddities would continue past that, but nothing else has happened.
she knows she shouldn’t take it all for granted; this was what she wanted, right? a brand new start in a brand new place. and yet something doesn’t sit well with her. she’s aware of what it is, of course, but doesn’t want to face it. it’s the fact that despite all the changes in her life, she still hasn’t changed. not much. not enough. it can’t be rushed, she knows that too, but she wishes it could. she wants to become a better person – to escape the demons in her heart, but it isn’t that simple.
more than anything, she wants the visions of HER to go away.
perhaps it’s because she never got the closure she desired, but she sees her everywhere – and while it has lessened since coming to koi, that’s not good enough. it isn’t really her – and she isn’t deluded enough to think so, but she still gets her hopes up every time she thinks she sees wisps of blonde hair in a crowed, or an earring resembling a feather. the first few times it happened, she chased after them, and felt an emptiness she longed to be rid of when they revealed themselves to be strangers. it was an awful, sickening feeling that made her feel like the ground was crumbling beneath her feet again – as if the world was slapping her in the face with the fact that rachel amber was NO LONGER ALIVE.
she almost WANTS the ground to crumble beneath her when it happens again – a wisp of blonde hair, a blue earring dancing in the wind only to be lost in the crowed. it shouldn’t still be happening. rachel was gone and chloe had found a new life with someone else – so why couldn’t she escape these painful visions?
it’s been a long time since she’s chased someone down – and she knows she’s being ridiculous to even try, but she finds herself pushing through the crowed to follow after the head of blonde hair. she should turn back, but something feels strange and beckons her forward.
❛ hey! ❜ she calls out, and though she doesn’t expect an answer, she’s still frustrated when she doesn’t receive one. ❛ i said hey! would you just slow down for one fucking second?! ❜
if she’s being honest, she wouldn’t slow down if she were them. in fact, she’d be more inclined to go faster – but she doesn’t care about how crazy she must seem – this is only for her peace of mind. she just wants to see their face to confirm what she already knows – that it doesn’t belong to rachel.
it doesn’t take long for her to grow tired of being ignored, and so she increases her pace, until she’s directly behind them – close enough to grasp them by the shoulders and turn them to face her.
all at once, the world seems to STOP. time slows down, and there’s white noise blaring in her ears so loud it’s deafening.
she releases them – her, them, whoever is in her clutches and stares, eyes almost comically wide, but there’s absolutely nothing funny about how she’s feeling right now. she blinks, then blinks again, and waits for her to disappear, for her face to morph into someone else’s, but it doesn’t – and she isn’t sure what to make of that. of this. of her.
because this isn’t real. it couldn’t be.
She always imagined that it wouldn’t end this way.
She always dreamed that she’ll run away alone , but when Chloe Price enters her life unceremoniously ( being a defenseless , poor thing by herself on the second floor of that run - down makeshift concert venue , harrassed and with no way out but to either jump and break or stand and fight ) , Rachel thought they can run away together. But now she knows better when she chooses to live on her own , hidden in the comfort of a world that she made for herself and forgotten , buried under the ground of a junkyard. A befitting fall for an old Amber ran out of spark.
She never imagined it would end this way , there was no fucking chance it will.
But here she is , body turned with no time to react when she attempts escape by lighter steps and quicker flux , yet destiny , fate or whatever they call it , is such a bitch.
Rachel is a good actress , she always pride herself as one. She often practised well before an act , taking on different faces and gestures of what one should react normally to. Whereas in this moment , she never practised for it’s such a silly thing to even consider her return to someone who already erased Rachel from their life. So , she puts on a BRAVE front ; calming herself despite instinct screaming at her to LEAVE. Calculative , olive green eyes never waver under pressure as her body stiffens and tenses uncomfortably under unfamiliar grip.
One that Rachel’s forgotten how it felt like before , just like as how Chloe is good at.
Voice stern and strict as she speaks , Rachel thinks that she always wanted to leave anyway. With or < without Chloe Price >.
▬▬▬▬▬▬ ｛ @morphopriced . resumed !
discoholicmusic
izzy806
janainaart
tangentwithtanner
titsay
