A Work In Progress...

complimented a womans clear raincoat this morning and she said Well i feel like a sandwich

Made it all the way to work and realized I forgot my cyanide pill in case of capture

(backseating you at the mortar and pestle) man you aint even squarshing it

*adds another bay leaf to the soup* after all I’m not driving

Absolutely horrid that a 10hr sleep does not cure you of all that ails you

it doesn't even cure me of being tired

It should work like in RPGs. I want to be able to go to bed exhausted, poisoned, and missing half of my blood and wake up at 100% fully recovered

Bet it feels good as fuckkk to rest your hand on the pommel of your sword when the newcomer steps a little too close to your lord who you’ve sworn to protect with your life

dropped an embroidery needle on my floor in the dark and couldn't recover it so hopefully a bug is about to use it as a sword and go on some adventures and shit

🐌🪡 im so ready for the snides of snarch

... and why is that?

*snabs you with my sneedle*

Girl did you just quicksave