⋆♱

you don’t even catch the fact that you’re smiling so brightly until natalie pulls herself over the window sill, landing inside your room smoothly as if it’s muscle memory at this point.

which, it probably is.

she pauses after climbing in, breath slowing after the intense cardio she had just seemed to finish, eyes landing on you with a glint of relief.

there’s always something about the way natalie looks at you every time she successfully sneaks into your room, as if she just snuck into some highly guarded prison.

“hi,” she whispers.

you shake your head, holding back a smile as you try to look unimpressed with her insane sneaking in skills even though your chest is warming even more in your chest.

“you’re late.”

natalie simply shrugs with an exasperated expression, closing the window quietly behind her.

“your porch light was on for forty minutes while i was parked outside. i thought your mom was still up.”

“god, seems like she always is,” you mutter under your breath. “at this rate we’re gonna get caught one day.”

natalie let’s out a quiet chuckle, inching closer.

“yeah? then i’ll just tell her i came over to study.”

you raise an eyebrow at her words, holding back a scoff yourself.

“you? studying? really?”

“hey,” she says, feigning an offended tone. “i could be studying material, can’t i?.”

“yeah well, you’re wearing a leather jacket, and in my mom’s eyes, that’s like—being sent to hell energy.”

“okay, you have a point.”

you try to keep your serious face, but it slips from your face immediately. a smile reveals itself onto her face now too as she comes even closer, your noses nearly touching now, and then her hand brushes lightly along your arm like she’s memorizing the feel of you.

“you’ve been staring at the window since i told you i was coming on the phone, haven’t you?” she whispers.

your face warms as you quickly scrabble out, “no i have not.”

she lets out a sound, she clearly doesn’t believe you. “don’t lie to me, you have.”

you don’t get the chance to refuse again, because she immediately breaks the gap and kisses you.

your hand comes grips the front natalie’s jacket instinctively as you kiss her back with an equal amount of force, she steps closer without breaking the kiss, one hand sliding to your waist as the other brushes over the thin fabric of your nightgown.

“you talk too much,” she mumbles against your lips.

“you sneak into my house in the middle of the night,” you whisper back with a smile. “i think i’m allowed.”

she grins, and kisses you again, this time with a softness, and you fall back onto your bed as you tug natalie down with you.

she goes with no fight, bracing the impact with a hand beside your head as she climbs over you, her knees pressing into the mattress between yours, the fabric of your gown riding up under her touch.

the book you were previously ‘reading’ slides off your bed and hits the floor with a thud, neither of you care enough to break the kiss.

“missed you so much,” natalie whines under her breath, talking absentminded as she brushes her fingers along the side of your body, now slipping just beneath the your nightgown to rest against your bare skin.

“you saw me a few hours ago,” you say, wanting to tease her, but it comes out more tenderly than you intended it to.

“yeah,” she agrees, leaning down to kiss you again, “still fucking missed you.”

she kisses you slower now, with affection and care dripping into the action.

your fingers make their way into her hair, tugging on the strands gently, and she exhales a breath against your mouth in a way that makes butterflies release in your stomach.

this moment is so fragile and warm and special the way all of your memories with natalie are, and you just wish it wasn’t limited to your room.

and as you two are getting more and more lost in each other, suddenly there’s a knock.

you and natalie natalie freeze instantly, her hand tightening at your waist.

“sweetheart?” your mom’s voice comes from the opposite side of the door with a sleepy rasp. “your light’s still on.”

at this point your heart is pounding so hard in your chest that you feel like you’re about to throw up.

natalie hides her face in the softness of your neck, as if that will somehow hide her. you swallow the lump in your throat.

“uh…yeah!” you answer quickly, trying to sound as calm as possible although you sound more breathless if anything. you clear your throat. “i’m just uh—reading.”

“reading what?” your mom asks in a suspicious tone.

you glance frantically at your desk, your nightstand, anything—until your eyes land on the book on the floor.

“the bible!” you blurt out.

natalie presses her face harder into your warmth, attempting to stay silent but laughing still.

“okay,” your mom says after a moment of silence that feels like minutes. “don’t stay up too late.”

“i won’t!”

and with that, her footsteps fade down the hallway, until she finally reaches her room, and the door closes.

you don’t move. natalie doesn’t either.

you both wait until the house is dead again—until the quiet swallows the home like it did before. that was way too close.

after a few minutes, natalie lifts her head.

her face is inches away from yours, her cheeks red and her expression giving away the suppressed laughter.

“the bible?” she whispers with a cackle.

you shove her lightly with a frown, worry still wretched onto your face.

“shut up.”

“you don’t even read your bible.”

“i panicked, okay?”

she bites her lip, still smiling widely as her forehead rests against yours.

“you’re stupid.”

“you’re the one who spontaneously planned this visit tonight!”

“yeah,” she says, softer. “because i wanted to see you.” the teasing fades as the two of you gaze into each others eyes. the reality your situation lingers, and you glance at the door.

“if she knew,” you start, then stop yourself at the vulnerability and fear in your tone.

natalie’s expression dims.

“i know,” she says with a sadness in her tone.

but before the night could be absolutely ruined, natalie presses a soft kiss to your cheek, and then another one to your jaw, and a chaste one to your lips.

“i’m still here, aren’t i?” she whispers.

your hand intertwines with hers, squeezing onto each other tightly.

“yeah.”

she smiles softly, brushing her thumb over your knuckles as she brings it to her lips.

“then stop thinking about it so much.”

you force out a sad laugh.

“easy for you to say.”

“not really,” she admits, and with your questioning gaze, she continues, “i would do anything to go out on a normal date with you, to kiss you in public, to marry—“ she cuts herself off, and you finally look at her.

but she just shakes her head and leans in again, kissing you even softer, slower, and with purpose, a purpose to make all the things she said come true one day.

your hand slides back into her hair, and you two get lost in each other once again, the worries fading into the background.

you’re still isolated in the four walls of your bedroom, and it’s still a fragile secret you two will need to hide for now, but you know that someday, it will all be worth it.

𝖱𝖤𝖡𝖫𝖮𝖦𝖲 𝖠𝖯𝖯𝖱𝖤𝖢𝖨𝖠𝖳𝖤𝖣 ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

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