♥-☁ 🌙 ☁-♥

Hope to see you again on Saturday, my pale prince...

being doomed by the narrative is cool and all but i like when a character is doomed just by being a fucking idiot. sorry that happened to you but it is entirely your own fault and you could have just chosen to not do all that

"drug-seeking behavior" woah the patient wants u to treat their ailments with medicine ...... thats crazy

​this is such classic tumblr I'm surprised it has less then 50k notes

Nobody expects the ostrich

Alright pal, one more wisecrack out of you and I'm covering the land in eternal night

Smaller Goon: "yeah! Eternal night!"

you literally need to humble yourself before the cheese grater because what she really craves is human flesh and she can smell your blood underneath your skin. fyi

it's a shame you can't Cool, Silent, and Mysterious your way to being very close to people. we are unfortunately going to have to embarrass ourselves for this

you can (slowly) toast a siamese cat with a razor

It's like i always say *retches*

oh and that gap in my resume is when i was digging my own grave

the dirt under my nails is - yeah. it won't wash out. although that's actually from when i dug myself out again. i suppose success and defeat can look the same in a mirror.

Sorry that we turned our found family dynamic into a weird sex thing. We will do it again.

hey man i get that it’s your thing but you are making people uncomfortable by, and these are your words, “blair witching it” in the corner