my narutoverse

Obito: Thanks again for letting me crash here, Bakashi. Damn snowstorm came up so fast, I’d hate to have to trudge home in this.

Kakashi, setting up the extra futon: It’s no problem. Will two blankets be enough for you?

Obito: Yeah, that should be fine. Man, I’m beat. *throws himself down on the futon* All that walking. I could just — just — *starts falling asleep*

*later that night, Obito wakes up suddenly*

Obito, to himself: T-the temperature must have d-dropped … I’m f-f-freezing! *glances at Kakashi* Will he be m-mad if I wake him to ask w-where the extra b-blankets are?

Kakashi, eyes still closed: You want to warm up? I’ll give you something much better than a blanket to make you warm …

Obito, blushing: B-Bakashi! You’re not suggesting that we … uh … I mean I don’t know if I’m r-ready for —

Kakashi: *out of bed, biting his thumb and wiping it across a scroll*

Obito: What are you —

*suddenly all of Kakashi’s ninken fill the little room*

Kakashi, yawning and laying back down: Got a mission for you, guys. Obito is cold, and so am I. Think you can help us with that?

Pakkun, executing a small salute: You can count on us, boss!

*all of the ninken pile their warm bodies over Kakashi and Obito, burying them underneath a mountain of fur*

Kakashi, from underneath Bull’s body: Well? Better?

Obito: *barely able to move his arm out from underneath Shiba and Bisuke, gives a thumbs up*

Obito: Sorry, sorry; it’s just, this is so weird.

Kakashi: I know it’s weird, but this is meant to help you, idiot. You think Rin is just going to accept you going up to her and slobbering all over her mouth?

Obito: *sighs* No. T-thanks for this, Bakashi.

Kakashi: You’ll just owe me the biggest piece of cake at your wedding. Now, okay; you cup her cheek gently with your hand, and draw her towards you, like this … *demonstrates* Got it?

Obito, blushing: Y-yeah.

Kakashi: Okay, then you take a few moments to stare into her eyes, and you say something quietly and gently to her. Like, for example, “Obito, I think you’re the most beautiful person in this entire world. I would be honored if you allowed me the pleasure of a kiss.”

Obito, sweating: T-that’s very r-romantic sounding. T-then what?

Kakashi: *scoots closer* You lean in, and press your lips to hers in the gentlest way possible, like this — *leans in and kisses Obito’s lips* And then you pull away and give her a smile, a soft smile, to let her know how happy you are. *pulls down his mask and gives Obito a radiant smile* Got it?

Obito:

Obito: … Kakashi. I can’t go through with this anymore.

Kakashi: What do you mean? I’m positive that my teaching will work, man! All you have to do is —

Obito: Let’s go to Ichiraku. You and me. *timidly reaches out and takes Kakashi’s hand* I — I think there’s some stuff we need to talk about …

Kakashi:

Kakashi: *looks down at their joined hands and quickly pulls his mask up over his reddening face* Y-yeah? Okay, let’s go.

*the two walk off*

Rin, up in a tree nearby: It’s about damn time. I thought those two were never gonna catch on!

Pakkun, on her lap: My master is a little slow; I hope Obito is prepared for that.

Rin: Believe me; the two of them together couldn’t outrun a snail mentally.

Obito: Sorry, sorry; it’s just, this is so weird.

Kakashi: I know it’s weird, but this is meant to help you, idiot. You think Rin is just going to accept you going up to her and slobbering all over her mouth?

Obito: *sighs* No. T-thanks for this, Bakashi.

Kakashi: You’ll just owe me the biggest piece of cake at your wedding. Now, okay; you cup her cheek gently with your hand, and draw her towards you, like this … *demonstrates* Got it?

Obito, blushing: Y-yeah.

Kakashi: Okay, then you take a few moments to stare into her eyes, and you say something quietly and gently to her. Like, for example, “Obito, I think you’re the most beautiful person in this entire world. I would be honored if you allowed me the pleasure of a kiss.”

Obito, sweating: T-that’s very r-romantic sounding. T-then what?

Kakashi: *scoots closer* You lean in, and press your lips to hers in the gentlest way possible, like this — *leans in and kisses Obito’s lips* And then you pull away and give her a smile, a soft smile, to let her know how happy you are. *pulls down his mask and gives Obito a radiant smile* Got it?

Obito:

Obito: … Kakashi. I can’t go through with this anymore.

Kakashi: What do you mean? I’m positive that my teaching will work, man! All you have to do is —

Obito: Let’s go to Ichiraku. You and me. *timidly reaches out and takes Kakashi’s hand* I — I think there’s some stuff we need to talk about …

Kakashi:

Kakashi: *looks down at their joined hands and quickly pulls his mask up over his reddening face* Y-yeah? Okay, let’s go.

*the two walk off*

Rin, up in a tree nearby: It’s about damn time. I thought those two were never gonna catch on!

Pakkun, on her lap: My master is a little slow; I hope Obito is prepared for that.

Rin: Believe me; the two of them together couldn’t outrun a snail mentally.

Konan: Aw, Dei, what a thoughtful gesture!

Deidara: *shrugs* Danna says I have to start being nicer to everyone or he’s cutting me off, hm.

Zetsu: Cutting you off from what?

Itachi, biting into his chocolate: If you have to ask, it’s not relevant for you.

Hidan: *comes into the room* What are you fuckers doing?

Deidara: Celebrating Easter, man. Here — *holds out a rabbit to him* Happy Holidays!

Hidan:

Hidan: “Happy Holidays”? What the fuck are we celebrating? A fake God coming out of his hidey-hole after three days? So WHAT?! I die practically every goddamn day and it doesn’t take me some pussy-ass three days to come back! 

Hidan: *swats the chocolate out of Deidara’s hand* Fuck you, fuck your chocolate, fuck your fake god, fuck the Easter Bunny! *storms out*

Kisame: Goodness, that was extreme, even for him. What do you think is his problem?

Kakuzu: He’s just upset because everybody forgot his birthday a few days ago.

The Akatsuki:

Konan: … Oh my God, I feel horrible …

Itachi: Kakuzu, why didn’t you remind us? Or did you forget as well?

Kakuzu: I didn’t forget; I simply didn’t want to shell out money for a gift. And seeing as how payday isn’t until next week, I didn’t want any of you asking for advances to buy him a gift either.

Obito: What am I doing wrong? Am I just too ugly?

Kakashi: You’re not ugly. I mean, you’re definitely not handsome, but you’re not ugly. You’ll find someone, someday. Someone who will break down the door to be with you.

Obito: “Break down “ the door? That sounds a little extreme, Bakashi.

Kakashi: Wait and see . I bet I’m right!

*several years later*

Deidara: *using explosives to destroy the door*

Deidara: Oi, Uchiha!  I want to talk to you, asshole!