As much as I loved SFAWTDE I have so many problems with it.
SPOILERS FOR SEARCHING FOR A WORLD THAT DOESN'T EXIST AND DESTROYING THE WORLD THAT DOESN'T EXIST
Honestly I LOVEEE everything up until the point when they meet up and talk. After Avery goes dark and D3rLord3 kills him - down it goes with several problems.
Out of any order (you will probably guess which one is my most bothersome by the amout of ranting XD) THE KING DIES TOO LONG
what the fuck was that whole scene, why it was so long what the fuck
I hate that. Like WHY Avery appears after the spell was chanted, if King was saving and stalling Avvery was he planning on giving him the spell later??? what was the plan??? If he made Avery go into the trans Avory would not proceed and probably woun't find the spell and wat's next??? Here isyour perfect vessel, how you gonna connect to it, King???
So that probably mean he can just connect to Avory without a spell, he just needed time to form himseld, and d3erlord3 just interapted him, but when Avory appears why d3rlord3 is casing him away? that means that his plan can fail, means that King can connect to Avory even if the spell was alredy said, omfg I have so many problems with that whole scene
And you tell me that Derek was dyiong so long he was able to record, render and upload a video to youtube and link it????? that is just stupid. I will also say that it is kinda stupid that his while third footage (that is missing btw) is just also pointlest from the point of arg??????
If Wifies was planning this as an arg and was at first planning to split part 2 into two parts it kinda would make sense, once again we have an Avory video to watch and then d3erlord3's video to watch, but then again that whole fotage woul've spoiled the whole 3rd wideo Vifies would plan, and like... That would'nt be toooo bad, but it would be EH
ANYWAYS i don't think the way d3rlord3's third footage was posted and handeled is belivable in any way.
I think the way I would structure that is:
Derek sees Avory, sends him on a wild goose chase
while Avory is busy he finds what to actualy do (the spell) writes his last words in a google doc that will be in a folder that he lest a link to earlier. He was planning to put his fotage there and he ether does it with it being cut out now, so we do not know what happens from his perspective from that point or does not upload it at all, to not let Avory know about all the vessel and bullshit shenenigans and the spell at all (second is more logical, but then WIfies video would be much shorter so let's go with first)
then when he wrote his suicadal note he goes into the last room
but Avery catches up, learning that Derek fooled him. He is able to do that, because he skipped several rooms through that top of a tree (like d3rlord3)
then they have their final talk angst ark and so on, d3rlord3 throws him of teh platform
and then immidiately chants the spel
the collaps of both of them is almost instantenious
on Avery's laptop the worls is gone, corrypted or just gone
Then he uploads a video where we see his perspective, and that's how we learn about what happens behind the door, and maybe on a "you dies screen" he can see part of the chant that Derek says. Maybe even Avery shows us "look the world is not here/broken!"
and then we are left to piece everything together themselves, without this epic King Death scene adn long ass Bill the traingle easter egg dying scene
Idk i think that would make more senese, the Avery just appearing out of nowhere in the middle of the spell and all that, idk it felt very anty klimactic and also kinda unbelivable. If Lord's and King's minds should have collapsed the moment they merged... idk that momen was too long. AND I UNDERSTAND this is fiction and you can prolong teh moment if it playes into the idea you are writing, but I feel like here it doesn't.
OKAAAAAAY next problem, the one i have to most beef with - infiinate fucking knowledge
INFINATE KNOWLEDGE MY ASS
JUST NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Should I explain why writing a character with future knowledge/infinate knowledge is so hard is actually almost impossible??? Like MA MAAAAAAAAAAAN. As soon as someone is so detached from the universe they are hard to make actually belivable and relatable at the same time. Not to mention how many times d3rlord3 breaks this "i know everything" just by reacting some way to so many things. Fake Avery? Oh no he did't recognize that is fake avery because he knows Avery well, no he just knew that will happen. His reaction to Avery finaly finding him? He knew that would happen. How he solved any fucking puzzle? WELL HE SHOULD"VE KNOWN.
Okay now when I am writing this, he did mention he knows nothing about this place, so that might be it, but still, I breaks so much. If he knows nothing about tjhi place, how did he knew that Avery will find this place? how far his "i know nothing about this place" extends???
anyways I am pissed at "knows everything" d3rlord3
I think it would be more fitting if he knew something shocking he couln't have known
Imagine in one instant learning of your tragic fate and the tragic fate someone you never known but now know as if you knew echother for centuries? And also you see how YOUR WHOLE WORLD is doomed by extention? And knowing you are ultimately the one who will doom him, becuase if you wou'nt write this book... if you didn't make him curious, because if you din't upload the video... But then if you didn't he would stumble upon it himself anyway, and he is soo doomen by narative and so are you.
You don't know everything, but you know the fact that you have someone so dear and so close to you, and you have to save him, because he is woth saving, but again you are plagued bu the fact that you know you won't be able to
that would drive someone insane
If I would learn taht my bestie is doomed and no matter what I do I am the one who doomed them? I would cry incontrolably, because I am the Avery in this story AHAHAHAH but you get the point
"But Koti," - I hear uyou say, "you said taht their dialog was perfect, but there d3rlord3 alredy sayts that he knows everythig!"
WELL YEAH but here is the thing - we see time and time again that d3rlord3 is ready to lie to Avery if it saves him. And I would understand if he lied there too. Tell him something more simple, something taht he could understand without breaking his mind and will to fight further.
BUT THEN HE SAYS IN HIS GOODBYE NOTE AGAIN CONFIRMING TAHT THIS SHIT IS UCKING INFINATE KNOWLEDGE
God Demn I Hate Them So Much
NUT THEN COMES THE LAST PROBLEM I HAVE WITH THEm and it is the core of doomed by narative.
Even if I pretend and ignore canon and think that all above fixed, then I HAVE NOTHING I CAN DO WITH THEm. Not like I can do anything with them now, they are as doomed now as they would be in my version, and here is the catch
I can't do anything with them, their story is too perfect. They are good becuase they are trapped in this story and I can try to imagine things but they never will hit as well as the original, because have to be doomed by narative.
That's it, I will draw them more when I have time
