I Dont Want Anyone Else, I Want You

Repurposed account : VENT / YANBLR / PARABLR !!

This account is NOT involved in discourse. Don’t bring any to us unless we specifically ask you to.

…

In my fantasies that I write out, we can. We are ttogether and we uhm… could easily hold hands oor hug. I mean, I’m not against tthat. I would love to hold hands with her… but because I’m easily flustered, I think… mmy hand would get hot and gross really fast…

Uhh NOT THE POINT

I just. I really uhm.. I want her to ccorrupt me more. Bbut I dunno, maybe that’s something I have to do? Hmm. Ii’m a switch, pprobably. Maybe sub leaning and I just. Really want her to take it. Ttake what hasn’t been taken.

I want. I shouldn’t continue this.

I physically have to aavoid touching mmyself because of the body’s DAMN period. Ughhhh… but

I can. I want to. I want to…

Ah. One day maybe. One day maybe she’ll ssee how much I rreally want her. Would gladly rruin myself to nothing, if it meant she’d hold me and treat me like her one and only…

I want to be her one and only.

I want. Someone to hit me. Not like a punch on the arm or a flick on the wrist, I mean, genuinely punch me in the stomach.

Kicking in my face and calling me a fucking creep. Aall I can do is cover my face and cry, bbut then they notice the smile on my face.

„At least i got to touch you, even if it hurt. This won’t be the last time, right? right??”

Ah. Being horny sucks. Sniffles

I can’t keep being a virgin like this. I need to be carnally needed…. Mmmhhfksm

Send post.

Even now, it feels lackluster, though. Maybe. Give it time. Am I being naive? I don’t know.

I was. Am I too desperate to be loved and cared for?

When will.

What am. I Supposed to do? Haha.

Uh. Go away.

Ky, They/Them.

Ky, they/them

Ah. I’m actualy. So horrible.

She said she was going to drink… okay, fine. That’s not weird or anything. I don’t mind because she’s still coherent when she does, at least from what I know

Bbut my mind is

Ggoing places.

Ah.

I just. I really want to

Mmanipulate her. Iin some way. Dubcon, noncon, doesn’t matter. I just.

Thinking about such things makes me feel so

Horrible and yet, my body is reacting and I’m such

She admits that sshe s missed me. I

Mmmm, tthat’s not fair.

You ccant miss me like that

That’s not fair if I can’t…

Ugh

I can’t. My body feels hhot and it was

It wasn’t even anything.

I

I’m such a loser ☹️

I don’t even want to talk right now. I’m just so

Fucking upset

All I want to do is yell and scream and cry and die

But

It’s not that serious, is it?

It was never that serious to begin with.

She doesn’t really know me.

And who knows if I’m even a person, not JUST an alter to her?

Nnot only that, I truly mmight not be her type.

Wwhat if she prefers someone IRL? Someone with mmoney? Someone who can provide for hher? I can’t even get a job if I wanted because of our CPTSD.

I’m useless in relationships. Wwhat if I don’t rlly love her but the concept of her?

My mind is constantly spinning with her. Everything is her. I look at photos of animals or see a stray cat on the street and tthink of her.

what does she like? What does she need? From me? Away from me? With me? Will she? Won’t she? I tthink I’m losing mmy mind.

I hate this I hate this.

Just admit defeat, Kylar. Yyou can’t be with her.

But if she rejects me, eeither I move on or I get more obsessive ? Mmore likely the second option.

What do I do?

I need relief from my own mind.

I need to sleep forever but I might only dream of us. And what we’re nnot

Maybe then she’ll miss me or

Or maybe she won’t.

She won’t miss me.

She’ll miss the system . That’s all it is. At the end of the day, I’m just oone body and multiple consciousness.