#yan vent

i want someone to call mine. i want someone to be MY person. someone who i talk to constantly, where IM the person their closest to, where they pick ME over everyone else. i want my own person. i dont care if that sounds bad. id do the same for them!! theyd be MY person, id talk to them over anyone else, their the one im closest to, their the one i want to know everything about and talk to 24/7.

Sometimes as a self harm substitute I listen to the Peter griffin rock lobster cover.

the loneliness is going to kill me. i feel like my insides are rotting. to be so isolated when all i’ve ever wanted is to love and be loved is equal to torture. i don’t want to learn to be happy on my own. i’ve tried… lord knows i’ve tried. but my heart isn’t made that way. i know there’s someone out there with a heart just like mine. and i know that no matter what i do, i’m going to feel empty without them.

sigh i wish i had someone to talk too all the time. to spam with messages. to love. to adore. to just. be in the presence of all the time.