Ali’s Dumpsite

‘i want to go to his competition’

the most stupid thing to share last night with my friends. we were playing a game in which everyone was given a chance to disclose anything they never wanted to impart and everyone else’s free to ask questions regarding it after; and i chose to communicate this unnecessary and useless baggage. 

few weeks before, i got to share this big news about my ex-crush’s apparent success in his dancing career with my girl-friend: his group made it to the finals of a big dance competition. she asked me too many times before if i wanted to go and i always end up replying with an accusative NO as if that’s the obvious thing and immediately change our topic to avoid further discussion. the truth is…a part of me really wanted to but there’s no denying that the other parts were screaming NO and so i went with the latter.

'ba’t di ka maka-move-on?’

the most hurtful comeback i received last night; came from the only guy-friend who attended our little meet-up. this question made me figure-out that i haven’t actually moved on from that bastard and needed someone to verbalize that fact and made him slap it to my face- hard so i can see the obvious.

thankfully, no one has a bit of interest to dissect the issue and ended my part straightaway. but that only made me feel awful, upon realizing that everyone seems to be fed-up with it and i’m the only one who’s clinging unto him.

'you’re inlove with an idea.’

my thoughts around 9am at the office

"Can't concentrate on what I'm doing right now at the office. I'm working on a report I could even figure out what for. I want to end this day already. I want to fast forward everything to weekend. My favorite days of my life. I'm listening to an album I don't even know how i ended up downloading. I'm pretty sure I am not allowed to download anything at the given moment for I am in my working hours. 'Company first' I should remind myself but I would mostly end up opening a browser and search for something to download or anything."

"I'm trying to figure out what i would do with my life in the future. Far future... Is it bad to think about it at such an early time? I want to pass the board exam on July and pass a resignation letter by August. Look for a much better job where I can pursue my passion- basta, something I would greatly enjoy. Probably, I'd look for it in an international or multinational company- basta, a much bigger company. I'm also thinking of enrolling by October and take an HR business course at Benilde. Hopefully, I could afford their tuition. And then, after a year or so, I would apply to work abroad and travel during my leisure time."

I don't want to control my life in this kind of way because we never know what is ahead of us. I am afraid to bring these dreams into reality and hold an opportunity which is a lot bigger than me. I'm afraid I'd get stomped on by how huge they are. But at the same time, I am afraid to lose my way towards these incredible journeys I am planning for myself...

i hate this song...

Settle down with me Cover me up Cuddle me in Lie down with me And hold me in your arms And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now Kiss me like you wanna be loved You wanna be loved You wanna be loved This feels like falling in love Falling in love We're falling in love Settle down with me And I'll be your safety You'll be my lady I was made to keep your body warm But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms Oh no My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now Kiss me like you wanna be loved You wanna be loved You wanna be loved This feels like falling in love Falling in love We're falling in love Yeah I've been feeling everything From hate to love From love to lust From lust to truth I guess that's how I know you So I hold you close to help you give it up So kiss me like you wanna be loved You wanna be loved You wanna be loved This feels like falling in love Falling in love We're falling in love Kiss me like you wanna be loved You wanna be loved You wanna be loved This feels like falling in love Falling in love We're falling in love

10.31.14

as soon as the clock struck 6:45pm, that night i almost run off from the office. as if i could run away from its dark halls and left the haunting shadows of that particular week. i remember i cried about every single hour of nearly every freaking day of that eventful week for bearing fears of the unknown kind. i was in the transition of transfer from one department to another and i was scared as shit of what's ahead of me. i remember begging every night, before i sleep, that i could wake up to the glorious breezy heat of Saturday late morning call; when i can just stay in bed for another hour or so, free from worries. i wanted to fast forward the days so i can meet the weekend in advance and take my rightful rest. that night, i had every reason to celebrate: it's Friday, it's payday and there's the weekend; that night, i felt infinite.

"Don't rain on my parade."

hayyy. today is ma'am marianne's birthday. i solemnly prayed for her day to be stress-free. i even struggled in admitting that few of perfect attendance certificates still haven't been signed by JCS. well, it wasn't my fault actually. the certificates stuck with the others leaving them unseen and therefore, unsigned as well. by lunch break, we were happily waiting for our orders at a nearby restaurant when CYY called- ma'am carol, the heir to Nikon. she was pissed to receive my emailed weekly attendance reports. she complained that my reports were completely wrong. i won't elaborate on the details but those weren't wrong, she is. even ma'am joan and ma'am marianne agreed with that fact. i wasn't angry or saddened about what CYY commented on my reports because i don't care too much about what other people think of my labor, as long as i did my best and tried my hardest in doing what has been assigned to me, that gives me enough confidence regarding my performance- i know what i do and if not, i give efforts to know it by heart before or during doing the work; and i was just worried about ma'am marianne's big day. i don't want to ruin her day because of my fault, well, not solely but kind of.

"Be AGGRESSIVE. Be CONSISTENT."

thank goodness, ma'am marianne is such a sport. instead of drowning herself in anger and disappointment, she managed to stay calm and collected. she immediately thought of a plan and called for a short meeting between us HRs. as always, she reminded us of some of her wisdoms like 'talk to everyone level-headedly' and 'you are on your own, no one will back you up but yourself'. anyway, this day still ended pretty peacefully, though quite nerve-wracking.

thank you God for this challenging day, may this event make us wiser. now i pray for tomorrow, let it be everything but meaningful and awesome as everyday. \

alam mo yung feeling na andami mong gustong gawin para sa sarili mo over the weekend at satingin mo naman sapat na yung 48hours para gawin lahat ng kung ano man ang gusto mong gawin sa buhay mo (like magmuni-muni, magpakabaliw, magtamad-tamaran, tumunganga for half a day, wag gumalaw, wag huminga kasi pagod ka, gusto mo magpahinga etc.), PERO- isang napakalaking pero- mali ka, kulang pala. 

alam mo yung feeling na ayaw mo na matulog kasi andami mo paring hindi nagagawa na wish na wish mong gawin. yung gusto mo nang ipagpalit yung tulog mo which is napaka-precious for you para lang gawin all these non-sense na alam mong makakapagpasaya sayo other than the super satisfying but time consuming na pagtulog.

yung gusto mong ipilit isingit at pagkasyahin sa kakarampot na oras lahat ng nasa mental to-do list mo kahit na alam mong hanggang want ka na lang at never kang makakarating sa has, have or had (tama ba?).

yung tipong nagreresort ka nalang sa fantasy na sana may kakahayahan kang gawin ng sabay-sabay ang lahat which is kind of effective coz it gives you the illusion of accomplishing those tasks you have in mind and somehow, grant you the hypothetical feeling of satisfaction close enough to the actual feeling.

yung feeling na natatakot ka nang matulog kasi alam mo na pag gising mo MONDAY na. MONDAY na naman. start na naman ng weekdays. hudyat ng limang araw na lahat ng time mo at services nakarender sa company na pinagtatrabahoan mo at hindi sayo.

hayyys. napakasarap sigurong maging mayaman- out of nowhere, yung mayaman ka lang bigla, kahit di ka nagtatrabaho o walang sumusuporta sayo. buhay- pasarap, buhay- baboy. impossible- oo. haha, baliw lang?

PERO sa gitna ng pagmumukmok ko, pilit kong sinasabi, idinidikta paulit-ulit sa utak ko yung mga katagang 'wag ka ng malungkot, wag ka ng magreklamo. remember: wala ka nang time diba? so why waste it dealing with the negativities? you'll just feel even more exhausted. pakasaya ka, wag mo sila isipin kasi may 120hours ka sa weekdays to pour yourself in dealing with them. para sayo yung 48hours ng weekend, spend it well. spend it to yourself. spend it to the things that will make you happy. kahit gaano ka-time consuming yan, ka-elaborative ng process, or nakakapagod, nakakatanga, nakaka-ewan, joker lang- basta alam mong para sayo, you go for it. bear in mind: you have a choice. sarili mo lang kalaban mo, play your cards well. kakayanin sir!" 

so... sa mga kabagang ko dyan, IYAK! de, kaya natin to. garbage out, start your day anew. go girls! we rock! 

so guys, i am proud to announce to you that i have been hired. say waaah! yes, i'm now currently employed as an HR assistant in a local appliances manufacturing and distributing company. unfortunately, my contract covers only 2 months of service under the company for the reason that i would only serve as a reliever to the very pregnant HR assistant ma'am C. she's due 2nd to 3rd week of august btw. 

ma'am C has worked in the company for about 8 years as of today. deliberating her years of experience, you could assume her proficiency in the field of HR. that's why before she took her leave, she fairly allocated her responsibilities among the persons under HR department; namely, ma'am M- HR manager, ma'am J and me- HR assistants. the picture below sums up the tasks each of us were assigned to deal with in 2 months of time.

let's just concentrate on the third column which is the list of tasks yours truly is in-charge in.

1.) water

2.) agency billing

this is the most time consuming of all and needs a lot of attention and effort. no phone calls please!

3.) promodisers attendance and calling

this serves as my stress reliever. most of the disers are nice and pleasing. bonus for the funny ones.

4.) PLDT, internet, local telephone

5.) daily attendance

this is my most favorite, yet also my least. it requires communicating with the other employees which i like but it requires communicating with the other employees which i sometimes hate.

6.) reports to SY 

this is the most nerve racking, SY is the son of the company CEO. though SY is quite friendly, he's still one of our bosses.

7.) delivery schedule

8.) documents in and out

9.) issuance of tools

this is my second to my most favorite. i get to walk and enjoy the greens around the area with a company of one to three employees. i love talking to small group.

10.) payslips

11.) first aid

12.) office day assistance

13.) cleanliness of the office

and late last week, 3 more has been added to the list:

14.) issuance of office forms

this includes exit pass, OT slip, application and interview forms, etc.

15.) initial interview for assemblers or production workers

16.) production workers' orientation

throwback february 2014

a fresh faced little aly! :)

i freakin' know the feeling! but i thought, it's worth it. there's never an inch of regret on my part. i definitely fell in love with the book. It's so much fun and romantic. The only problem is that i can't get over it. i want more! i cry book two! ms. rainbow rowell, yah hear me? i'm begging. hear me out please.

...or there'll be no more. it's kind of fine for me but that's just really sad. no more eleanor and park. back reading would be my only remedy.