Always Fool's Parsley

Yennefer: my existence is your gift.

Geralt: ... *opens mouth* *closes mouth and accepts fate*

Jaskier: I take that as a compliment.

Yennefer: it was meant as one.

Yen: ...

Jaskier: Is it hot in here, or is it just you? Because you're a hot mess honey.

Yen: ....

Jaskier: Did it hurt - when you crawled out of hell?

Yen: ...

Jaskier: Baby you must be dynamite, because you blow me away. And also you're loud and scary.

Yen: What is this? Are these love-hate pickup lines?

Jaskier: ...Yes. Are they working?

Yen: ...Yes.

"Witch" (unexpectedly aroused)

Geralt: what - who?

Yennefer: the bard.

Geralt: that's - he's not - we are not "dear friends"!

Ciri: Jaskier the Bard? Geralt you told me you were very dear friends!

Geralt: yes, I mean no, we are but, that's not what I mean!

Yennefer: they're very very dear old friends, Ciri.

Ciri: is Jaskier your dear friend too lady Yennefer?

Yennefer: I'd say we're more "dear frenemies", though he was briefly "dear husband".

Geralt: wait, what does that mean?

Yennefer: Puppies.

Ciri: Am not.

Yennefer: Ok, truly? Murder.

Ciri: What? How did you...! Oh my god, do Lambert!

Yennefer: also murder... and pecan pie.

Ciri: Vessimir?

Yennefer: The seaside.

Ciri: Jaskier?

Yennefer: Not appropriate for children. Oh, gods, Jaskier! Definitely not appropriate for children.

Ciri: Geralt?

Yennefer: Puppies.

Ciri: Yen!

Yennefer: No, really, little wolf puppies play fighting and sleeping. It's really very sweet.

Jaskier: no, but tell me anyway.

Yen: Is that so?

Jaskier: Mmm, seems like.

Geralt: But, you're not.... right?

Jaskier: Not what?

Geralt: Fucking.

Yen: Who's fucking?

Geralt: You two.

Jaskier: Fucking who?

Geralt: Each other!

Jaskier: Me and her?

Yen: He and I?

Geralt: Yes! You!

Jaskier: Oh us! We two. Fucking. Hmm.

Geralt: ... but, you're not... right?

Yen: Yes, that's right.

Geralt: 'Yes, that's right' you're not... or 'yes that's right' you are.

Yen: Yes.

Geralt: ...

Jaskier: Geralt, now is when you say "hmm".

Geralt: ... hmm.

Cohen: hmm... kill them all.

Vessimir: agree.

Lambert: yeah me too.

Ciri: ... I don't think you guys know how to play this game.

Yen: why? We already have Jaskier.

Geralt: Jaskier's a man, not a pet!

Jaskier: ** rolls over in bed ** will someone please tickle my ears and tell me what a good handsome boy I am?

Geralt: ok, fair point.

Jaskier: by who?

Yennefer: me.

Jaskier: alright then.

Yennefer: well, that was easy.

Yennefer: longing, regret, hope and fear.

Ciri: and between you and Jaskier?

Yennefer: pegging.

Yennefer: you, all of the above.

Yennefer: ok, but why would nature make the inside so sweet, when the outside is so tough and sour?

Jaskier: kinda like you...

Yennefer: oh shit.... am I an orange?

Geralt: so, did you two smoke a bunch of herbs again?

Jaskier: .... ok, yes, but, it's still crazy about oranges right?

Yennefer: *fighting back tears* Geralt, I'm an orange. I've never felt more seen.