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Incorrect The Witcher #2
Geralt: I'm surprised you didn't flirt with them.
Jaskier: I don't flirt with people who are working or while I'm working. It's unprofessional.
Geralt: Oh, so you do have some self-control
(Source: @incorrectquoteprompts)
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Yennefer: oh Geralt, I ran into your other "dear friend" in Oxenfurt.
Geralt: what - who?
Yennefer: the bard.
Geralt: that's - he's not - we are not "dear friends"!
Ciri: Jaskier the Bard? Geralt you told me you were very dear friends!
Geralt: yes, I mean no, we are but, that's not what I mean!
Yennefer: they're very very dear old friends, Ciri.
Ciri: is Jaskier your dear friend too lady Yennefer?
Yennefer: I'd say we're more "dear frenemies", though he was briefly "dear husband".
Geralt: wait, what does that mean?
.
Jaskier: I found that I have been happier ever since I changed from drinking coffee in the morning to orange juice
Jaskier: Yennefer says it's the vitamin-C, I personally think it's the vodka
lambert: found out the carpenter in ard carraigh got arrested for selling fisstech
vesemir: what?!
lambert: you just never really know people...
lambert: i've been going to this guy for years...
lambert: never even knew he was a carpenter.
[at an awards banquet]
jaskier, only slightly drunk: well, first of all, i’d like to thank geralt of rivia, the love of my life, for telling me valdo marx was going to win so i shouldn’t bother preparing a speech,
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Jaskier is DTF
down to follow (for two whole decades)
Geralt: Are you good at negotiations?
Y/N: Yes, but last week a dragon almost set my hair on fire, so it's your turn to negotiate.
jaskier: wait how big are you though?
geralt, a himbo™: like 6'1" ish?
jaskier: no, i mean like in bed. how big are you?
geralt: still 6'1"? just sideways???
jaskier: *leaves*
