Despression Is A Drug

I do not fear death. Everything that begins must end. I do not fear the peace that is waiting for me. I look forward to the end of it all. I see it as an adventure.

No room to breathe

No room to think

The darkness is my only company

No where to go

No place to run

Stuck here forever

Always alone

It’s only me

It’s all in my head

A raging war

A battleground

Leave me alone

Please come back

Lost and broken

Forever forgotten

Alone on an island

Hello

Are you there

Please help me

Everything is dark

The end is near

Finally

When I close my eyes I see its glowing red eyes

They tell me I’m not good enough

I’m not smart enough

I’m not enough

I twist and turn trying to rid myself of them

Those glowing red eyes

They lurk in the bushes

Waiting to ambush me as I walk with friends

It whispers sweetly telling me to follow it

But if I follow

If I go down that road

I will never return

The end of that road is where my blood flows freely

Where it connects to a river

Succumbing to the gentle pull of the water

Where my lifeless body lay

Finally happy

In my darkest hour

And when I am alone

My thoughts run wild

Stampeding through my mind

And trampling my happiness

Alone I am and alone I stay

Kept company only by darkness and longing

Longing most for the sweetest relief of death

Would it be then that I would be loved?

After life when your memory of me becomes warped from the memories

When you no longer remember me for who I was

Instead you remember me for what you want

You’ll miss me in the good times

And when you have a laugh

I’ll be in your mind, feeding your guilt

You know the reason I’m gone

When I look up in the night sky

The three star belt greets me

I wave to the small cluster of stars

Though not to disturb his hunt

And know I am safe

Orion watch over me

I’m tired of hiding who I am.

I’m tired of acting like I don’t care.

I’m tired of feeling alone.

I’m tired of saving everyone’s feeling while crushing mine.

I’m tired of try and failing to live up to everyone’s expectations.

I’m tired of thinking I’m not good enough

I’m tired of my dad telling me to lose weight.

I’m tired of the bullshit

And

“Yo girl you’re thicker than a bowl of oats”

Dad: You’re the chosen one. You have Jedi powers.

Me: What if I want to be a sith?

Dad: You’re a hufflepuff, you can’t do that!