I like everything, I'm a Great Cool

*taking out the trash at night* what if there was a monster. lol *walking faster*

at the JRPG cafe, and the drink sizes are sod, soda, and sodaga

*guy looking down at you after beating the shit out of you* hey i really wanna commend you for being the bigger person here and not stooping to my level. You’re such a better person than me

pillows have stopped having a cold side some time ago

May I please have 1 everything

Noah's Ark if every animal reproduced asexually

Interesting I like it

mature content warnings on text posts of nothing but letters on a screen. . . remember when you were allowed to post like an adult and not be shamed or silenced for it

They hate me for being a horny pervert but I have warriors defending my honour across the globe

Anyone else notice the tumblr app being really glitchy

You'll have to go somewhere else, little boy. This is no place for you.

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

I’m actually always thinking of that “maybe I won’t die cause I’m special” tweet

the smuckling smumbler

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"