Overthinking Fuckface

I need to be constantly reassured that you like me, otherwise my brain spirals around the thought of you hating me.

If you don’t talk to me but open a message or something i’ll think i did something wrong, i’ll think that you just don’t want to talk to me.

If you say all these sweet things that i’ll believe because i’m naive and i’m not used to feeling wanted and i get attached to you but you don’t have the actions to go along with it to prove to me that you actually mean it, i’m going to start to think you don’t really mean any of it.

If you make plans with me and cancel last minute, i’ll get upset, because it will be something i look so forward to and suddenly it won’t happen and i just drown in disappointment.

If you say you want to see but don’t actually make the effort to make it happen i’ll believe that you don’t really care enough to actually see me, i’ll feel like you just don’t care about me.

I’ll be happy when i’m with you and the second something seems off i’ll get upset.

I cry a lot, i’m sensitive. but believe me when i say i’ll care more about you than anyone. So in the end, if you want to see me? than see me. If you care about me? show me. If you miss me? don’t just say it, actually do something about it. If you want to talk to me than do it. 

+I think way too much.

+I’ve been hurt so many times that i’m just used to it.

+I have a terrifying fear of giving someone everything and it still not be enough for them.

+I’m afraid of being Happy. 

+I get upset over stupid little things because in some way i feel like i’m doing something wrong even when i’ve done nothing.

+I get attached too quickly to people who make me happy and make me feel wanted,

+ People think that i’m crazy but in reality i’ve just been through so much hurt that i just don’t know how to react anymore.

+i come off as possessive but really its just my fear of being tossed to the side and my insecurity i have that i’m just not good enough.

+I put other peoples happiness above my own because i like making others happy, i like knowing that someone else isnt feeling the same way that i have felt inside for so long, because i know how hard it is and how much it fucking sucks to feel completely alone and worthless.

+Even when im with my closest friends i get this empty and numb feeling in my chest and i just kind of shut myself off from the world.

+Im selfless, not selfish.

+My loyalty is so much further than most.

+ I would do so much for someone if they meant something to me, regardless of whether i get any benefit from it. Their happiness is all i need.

+I get insecure about my body and being compared to other girls because ive been compared my whole life.

+For once i just want to be the only one someone wants to be with.

+Im terrified of being a second choice.

*All i want to do is make someone feel like they deserve more than they’ve ever been given, to make them happy

*Even tho i have an anxious mind and have a fear of saying the wrong thing, i know that i have a soft heart and that it’s in the right place