I care about Vampires a little too much

me and my friend were talking these days how would a relationship (not necessarily romantic, in general) between bookmand and showmand would go and how much they could potentially trigger/heal eachother and wanted to use some of your posts as base as The Armand Understander. it is a pity we lost all the gems in the previous blog, specially the bookmand ones

Do you have any thoughts on that? I could swear you had a post detailing what would happen if they were to meet. Sorry for the rambling, thanks

hi omg!! Ur no bother, this made me so happy, never apologize!!! Literally nothing makes me more happy in the world rhen being referred to as “the Armand understander” GAH THANK U. And HOLY SHIT it’s crazy that u ask that because I was literally going insane about this same topic the other day 💀 we r on the same wavelength rn. I don’t remember exactly what I’ve said b4 or if I’ve made a post about this in the past, but I don’t doubt that I did because this is one of my favorite Armand thought experiments lol. But that’s ok, cuz all my thoughts r still in my brain 🥺. Ugh, I’m really sorry that my old posts are lost to the void now 😭 I really should have archived them so people could still go back and look at them. I was being impulsive and really underestimated how many people actually cared about the things I’ve written 😭 so I feel bad. They still exist scattered across people’s reblogs and on Pinterest and Twitter and whatever as reposts, but it’s unfortunate that they’re basically unsearchable 😭 I’m hoping I can make up for it by offering a general invitation, in the fashion of this ask: if anyone from ye old nightcolorz wishes they could find an Armand post of mine but can’t cuz I nuked them, feel free to ask me to recite it for you with my heavily medicated brain. I digress - (warning 💀 I go a little crazy with this post. Definitely write way more then yiu asked for 😭 prepare for this Novel)

My favorite way to distinguish between showmand and bookmand (in terms of character, because the difference in appearance is obvious lol) is that bookmand is an adult trapped in the body of a child and showmand is a child trapped in the body of an adult.

What's so interesting to me about comparing them is that they're essentially the same character set on slightly different trajectories that altered who they developed into. In the same way that Show Daniel is who Book Daniel would have been if he never finished that interview in the 70s, Showmand is Bookmand if he stayed with Marius for twelve years instead of two years. That difference in timeline and age informs a lot.

I think something that goes underrecognized in Armand meta discussion is that bookmand and showmand are very distinctly different in key behavioral ways. There's a reasonable impulse to chalk up personality differences to the physical differences between them—Armand in the books is 17 and Armand in the show is 27 so he's more mature, etc. But it's definitely more complicated than that in my opinion.

On one hand, Showmand is a better speaker—he's more articulate, has a tighter grasp on his capacity for self-control, and can stay poised and calm under pressure. In that sense he is more mature. There's an unhinged, unabashed quality to Armand's speech and narration (especially in vampire Armand) that Showmand doesn't have. This topical line from the first chapter of The Vampire Armand is probably the most obvious example of what I'm getting at that I can think of lol:

Bookmand is an adult with the tragic and frightening inability to comprehend life as an adult. What I find so interesting about him is he isn't just an adult trapped in a child's body—he's an adult trapped in a child's mind. He's perpetually unable to handle himself and does violently deranged things partly because his life experiences, knowledge, intelligence, and adult capacity are literally too vast to be accommodated by his adolescent brain.

Armand was seventeen when he was turned, but it's important to point out that he was not post-pubescent. It's common for most seventeen-year-olds in modern day to be either done with puberty or very close to completing it. In the 1500s, as highlighted in the vampire Armand (and in this paragraph in the devils minion chapter that I'm including mostly because I love every passage of this chapter lol), boys began physically developing much later than they do now. Armand's body started to change in the way typical today for a 10-13 year old when he was seventeen, several months before he was turned into a vampire. So developmentally and physically, he would be comparable to a middle schooler.

I'm highlighting this to clarify that a portion of the difference in characterization between Showmand and Bookmand can be attributed to how Bookmand's brain is physically less developed than showmand's. I truly think that so much of Armand's specific brand of unhinged instability in the books is due to the mindfuck of a very traumatized very old adult operating with an undeveloped prefrontal cortex.

When you have this in mind, a ton of obvious differences in the way Bookmand speaks and Showmand speaks start to pop up. For example, Bookmand has an oddly blunt, simplistic tendency in the way he articulates himself that showmand does not have. It can go under-recognized how unrefined the way Armand talks is in comparison to the other characters because he is a blunt and rough speaker working from a 1500s renaissance framework of speech and behavior, which is just always going to sound fancy to us, lol. Here is an example from the vampire Armand in the scene where he talks to David Talbot that highlight this quality of Armand's in my opinion:

"You look like an angel, and talk like a common thug" 💀 He's a teenager lol. A very very old teenager.Compare that to Armand's dialogue in the show—it's pretty different lol. I'm going to draw a direct comparison between two fairly similar scenes. Warning: both are scenes where Armand recounts his childhood sexual assault to an audience. Look at how striking the difference is in the way the two versions of Armand articulate their experiences here:

Bookmand is blunt. There's no attempt to be vague or flowery. He says the words "I was raped," which is more than Showmand can even attempt to do. Showmand is heavily dissociating himself from his experiences, using third person language, making a clear and terse effort to avoid explicit language about his own assault. This speaks volumes about the difference in character between these two. And of course, some of it is due to different contexts in which the scenes take place, different timelines, etc., but it's worth exploring I feel.

While Bookmand is physically undeveloped, neurologically impaired in his ability to regulate and control his own emotions and impulses—rash, unhinged, etc.—there is a maturity and adulthood to him that Showmand doesn't have. While Showmand is more self possessed, bookmand is more self aware. Bookmand is also, interestingly enough, far more self sufficient than Showmand is. You'd think it would be the opposite, because Showmand is an adult man with an adult body, but nope! Bookmand is incredibly capable of running shit and running shit well.

I think a great example of bookmand's capacity for maturity that exceeds showmand's is how bookmand ends up leaving Louis. In both the book and the show, Armand stays with Louis for 77 years. While in the show, they stay together for so long as Armand clings to him desperately, lies and hides information from him deliberately to ensure that he stays, holds onto a lie that could easily be disproven at any moment because he can't bear to be without him, and when Daniel exposes the truth that Armand has been hiding, Armand still fights to stay—and it takes Louis throwing him into a wall and probably shattering his ribs to get him to give up.

In the book Louis fully knows that Armand killed Claudia. He stays with him out of spiteful apathy, and Armand clings fruitlessly to the notion that one day Louis will return to the person who fell in love with him and break out of his numb grief for Claudia. In his desperate desire to see Louis express any sort of regard or emotion for him, even hatred, Armand takes Louis to New Orleans and allows him to reunite with Lestat, and when this does nothing to break Louis of his depression he confesses that he killed Claudia, and Louis is like I know, I don't care, i don't feel anything for you, and Armand leaves him. What's strikingly different from showmand is that Armand doesn't attempt to argue or manipulate Louis into staying with him, he makes the choice to leave, he asks "is there anything else you need from me?" And when Louis says no, he gets up and goes, and Louis never hears from him again.

Armand is definitely very pathetic in the books as well lol, but I think that fact that he makes the decision to leave is so huge. Showmand could not have done that. Showmand goes down kicking and screaming. And that gets to my biggest point I feel.

While he's markedly more violent and unhinged, in the way he interacts with people and makes decisions without thinking, and the gratuitous nature of his own capacity for brutality, book Armand is also more adult than Showmand in a lot of ways. I think this all comes down to the change in timeline.

In the books, Armand is purchased from the brothel, is raised by Marius for maybe 2-3 years (we technically don't know his exact age 💀 it's emphasized a few times that he could be younger), and by the time he has been a vampire for about a month, he is seventeen going on eighteen, and he is ripped violently into a world of excessive cruelty and despair. Armand is 17, he's been with Marius for all of two years, and he watches the boys he was raised alongside, his brothers, some as young as ten, thrown one by one into the fire. He's made to starve and kill and eat his best friend and brother. He's ruthlessly indoctrinated into this cult, and within a few years he's shipped off to Paris to be Satan's highest ranked soldier. Armand is not even twenty at this point. He had to grow up real fucking fast. Those short years with Marius were massively formative, but they were FAST. Armand became a leader.

And while Bookmand was feared and respected, leading devils into the fires of hell, where's showmand? He's twenty, still sitting in daddy's lap, getting hand fed grapes by disgusting old men who think of him as a glorified party favor. Showmand is a kept boy for TWELVE YEARS. It's horrible, but what makes showmand so different from bookmand, is that Showmand is Better Trained.

Bookmand was ripped from Marius when he was in his rebellious, bitter teenager era. Things were strained with Marius when he was taken, he was already stretching his wings and reaching for independence. Showmand had his wings clipped and buried. He's so so polished, he's so composed. So even though showmand seems more grown, he also feels more stunted in certain ways. He has lost a lot of that rebellious spark that bookmand retains. Bookmand is more feral about his own personhood. He is more openly strange and jagged and self-aware in that nasty little gremlin way. There is a weird innocent, dependent quality to showmand that Bookmand doesn't have. Not innocent as in morally obviously lmao, but emotionally. There is something in showmand that wants to be protected and guided and told what to do. He wants the safety of surrendering agency while also desperately needing control. He is like a grown man going "I'm just a little baby I don't know anything 🥺🥺" while actively ruining his life and everyone else's.

Bookmand wants to be treated like a man. He wants to be a man and he can't be, with all the property he owns and the businesses he runs, because he will always be seen first as a child, treated like a child, behave like a child, a child struggling to contain the burden of a man. Showmand is very clearly an adult. People expect him to carry himself like an adult, answer for himself like an adult, be competent like an adult, have self-control like an adult. And he can do that. He can do that until he can't, until the mask slips and you see the little boy in the too big coat and the too big shoes and the hat falling over his eyes. But he can do a good job of it.

NOW: ON TO FINALLY ACTUALLY ANSWERING THE QUESTION YOU ASKED ME. UNPROMPTED TANGENT OVER LOL

All of that's to say this is why I think they would trigger each other SO BADLY lol. For both of them, in the most insane way possible, the other (physically) embodies the version of themself they wish they could be.

Showmand is Bookmand if he was 6'0", smoking hot, suave, and actually grown—all while getting ten extra years with Marius and fifty-two years preserving the life of a still-mortal Daniel. Showmand has succeeded in ways that Bookmand failed at and that remain his biggest shames.

The fact that he disavowed Daniel rather than turn him as a young man. Got to watch him live a full human lifetime. And then turned him only when Daniel was mentally and emotionally resilient. Meanwhile Bookmand drove Daniel into the ground with his addiction, turned him against his vow and his moral judgment because he was "too weak" to let him die. Then watched him cycle into incapacitation as Armand knew he likely would. And then let Marius take Daniel away from him like a patronizing parent denying him a responsibility he's not mature enough to handle.

It's like everything about Showmand was designed to highlight Bookmand's inadequacies 😭. He wouldbe ashamed, I think. And Armand grows obsessive over the people he envies the most, so that would be a whole Thing.

Showmand's ability to make decisions with forethought and strategy—that Bookmand can't control—and this slight but meaningful bump in performance resulting in a handful of genuinely improved circumstances for showmand would drive bookmand fucking crazy.

At the same time, Bookmand is adolescent, white, pure, hairless, cherub-like, and regarded like an angel or a precious doll by everyone who encounters him. Bookmand resembles those beatific smooth, white figures that Showmand was falsely depicted as in the paintings he modeled for as a mortal—because his own skin and features were not the desired form for European renaissance idealism.

Showmand would look at Bookmand and see the embodiment of this false standard of beauty and youth that he was never good enough to be. That was literally painted over him.

What a fucking trip.

I also think Showmand would resent and envy that Bookmand was turned so young. He'd wonder if Marius would have loved him more if he had been preserved young enough to still be beautiful to him. If he'd been kept soft and smooth and perfect instead of growing into whatever awkward half-finished thing he became

I think they'd hate each other LOL. But I also think they'd love each other, because for Armand, hate/love/pleasure/pain are all the same thing anyway. Just different flavors of the same core emotion.

Showmand would look down on Bookmand for being so unable to control his impulses and keep himself from driving the people he loves away. Bookmand is sadistic and needlessly cruel in an animalistic, unhinged way that Showmand does not quite live up to—not in the same way, anyway.

Showmand is violent in a numb, calm, dutiful sort of way. He can do horrific things with the attitude of someone sweeping the floor. It's chore. It's routine. It's empty.

Bookmand rips the hair out of a victim's scalp because he thinks the hair is nice and he wants to. Because it occurred to him and he saw no reason not to. Because the impulse arose and he followed it where it led because nobody ever taught him not to, or if they tried, it didn't take.

I think Showmand would deflect his own envy by telling himself that he's better than Bookmand because he isn't so indulgent. He's gentle. He isn't cruel. He has standards ☝️🤓. And the worst part is, Bookmand might almost believe it. When Showmand says he could not prevent the things he's done, that he had no choice, that his hands were tied by some bullshit or another—Bookmand hears that and thinks yeah. Yeah, okay. You're right. You couldn't help it.

Because Bookmand knows HE could have helped it. He just chose not to. Every single time. And that's worse somehow. Or better. Depending on how you look at it.

Bookmand would deflect his own envy by seeing Showmand as a hapless child. A submissive, weak, house-trained version of himself who may appear as a man, but is not strong enough or honest enough to exist on his own. Showmand needs permission. Showmand needs someone to tell him what to be. Showmand spent twelve years being shaped into something pleasing and came out the other side stumbling.

Bookmand was ripped from everything before the molding could finish. He came out half-baked and raw and himself, in a way that showmand doesn't quite get.

I don't know if it'd be romantic, probably not. It'd totally be sexual lol. Let's be real.

And this may be an unhinged, crazy thing to say, but: Bookmand would Dom the shit out of Showmand.

It's just the truth unfortunately.

They both have what the other wants. The only way they would think to deal with it is to fuck about it. That's what Armands do 😎. They don't process emotions, they swallow them 😝 They don't talk through feelings, they fuck them out of each other until something makes sense or one of them breaks, and honestly either outcome works.

Bookmand would top because bookmand doesn't know how NOT to take control of situations—it's the only power he's ever been allowed to have, the only space he could ever truly occupy, and he's going to fill it completely. Showmand would let him because showmand is desperate to be told what to do by someone who actually sees him, and bookmand would see him. Would see ALL of him. Every pathetic house-trained desperate-to-please inch.

And it would ruin them both, In the best way. Probably, maybe.

And then people take this scene and go “yeah Armand is the perpetrator of racial violence and he upholds those systems because he’s like a horrible racist” like even when the show is saying look at how Armand is a victim of racial violence and genuinely believes that the only way to survive within these systems of oppression is to endure them and not fight the injustice because it will only make it worse and he’s trying to teach this lesson to Claudia because he genuinely believes that by thinking she deserves any better then the minimal amount of abuse she has to take for a guaranteed life of safety that she is being insane and looking a gift horse in the mouth for no reason. Like the point is that Armand is so horrifically traumatized that he can’t even begin to conceptualize the reality that abuse is never warranted and it’s actually incredibly reasonable for someone to decide that they deserve better then to be put through degrading acts and humiliation no matter how “good” they have it.

Also the heartbreaking fact that at no point Armand thought Claudia would be able to make it. And not in an arrogant way, but calling it a shame, because he sees her as what she is, maybe the only who does, l but knows in this world there is no place for people like her.

And in spite of this, he still tries to teach her, shows her the only chance he thinks she has: to succumb to the role everyone wants her to play, at least enough to satiate them.

I mean Armand only survived as long as he has because at some point, he bowed his head to his would-be killers, shifted himself to their liking to be kept alive. Eventually he even finds himself in power. But he's still in the coven, still has not dared to rebel. And Claudia is so much weaker than him, she would never be able to best them by strength, so submission is the only way he can imagine for her. And even worse, if it pains her so much to conform, then ending this existence wouldn't be the worst outcome for her.

So really it's some fucked up self fulfilling prophecy.

AL

PACINO

Avoiding falling into racist stereotypes like the angry black man trope is a good thing but completely "feminizing" and taking away all consequence of a characters actions is maybe not the solution here. Louis is a complex layered character, we don't need to reduce him to such a flat one instead. Jacob Anderson himself said he loves being able to portray this kind of problematic complex monster, finally.

Also kinda wild to see how lost the degrassi school of social justice crowd is with this. Yall consume so much ya/childresn content (which im not judging for theres some great stuff out there, but it's just a lot simpler, less nuanced, good or bad type stuff) so now you'reunable to judge a toxic relationship between two dark skinned man cause damn have we ever seen that before? We don't have a template for that.

Oh my god I forgot completely about this 😭

I think it's a good show of how desperate for companionship Armand has to be, to overlook this and be fine with a partner using a childhood name (one of the last crumbs of his past) & Maitre (Master) to dom him in and out of bed.

I ship Loumand! Less like a Tumblr shipper and more like they're two stars crashing into each other and I'm a little guy stargazing going "woah" but I do. Cause the dynamic is fascinating! Absolutely toxic, but great!

It's easy to not notice why Armand fell for Louis in the first place. It's easy to say Armand is evil and weird because Armand is prone to remorseless killing of other vampires and this is the vampire show.

But.

But! Every vampire kills, most of them nightly. When Armand says they're monsters and shouldn't exist, that's not a weird religious take, it's him watching other vampires brutally kill an innocent person every night onstage and noting it as fucked up. Armand hasn't been on that stage once, himself.

He falls for Louis cause Louis is similarly disgusted by the theatric murder. He likes how Louis "withholds." He thinks hell yeah someone else actually putting a value on human life! Someone good to follow cause Armand cannot exist without following someone. So that's nice! Louis is a good guy. He can open up. Tell him his trauma and worries.

Except; sike! Louis doesn't have good morals he's just prideful and self righteous.

Louis judges the theatre but bashes in a random guy's head. He ran brothels for years, long after he had to, long after he openly said he was aware how he was harming these women who have no other choice.

And let's not forget it's like a 1920s American brothel of mostly woc with white patrons. You know the shit happening there was awful. Not that Louis cares. He cares about having power.

And knowing Armands trauma gives him power. And Armand plays along, even when he sees the victim Louis brutally murdered, even when Louis starts treating him like a slave, almost giddy about his trauma.

And then Madeleine happens. And Armand says no. Cause that's his biggest moral imperative, more vampires means one more murder a night for potential eternity. He says a very loud and clear no! And Louis tries to make him do it anyway. Uses the name Armand was called when the csa happened. That's the final nail in the coffin, when Armand said he decided to betray him after the turning of Madeleine I instantly got why.

And God the way Louis punches him through a wall, threatening to hit him again, calling him Rashid so naturally. Making him a servant. Np wonder Jacob Anderson was worried we'd hate Louis after this. And Armand could defend himself, but he doesn't, he leaves his home and goes God knows where.