MindFucked.

How the parents see me…

how the kids see me…

Expectation:

Reality:

1. Hold onto the hope that you can be free of depression. Recovery is possible – and things can change for you.

2. Get help from a counsellor, a therapist or doctor. Seek help RIGHT NOW if you’re feeling suicidal.

3. Go outside and get some fresh air; look around and soak in nature. Let it calm and soothe your mind, and bring a new, different perspective.

4. Make sure you have some free time to recharge your batteries. Do some things you find relaxing – something special, just for you.

5. Although it’s good to be with people you’ll also find you need some space. You need to have some time apart when there’s no pressure to perform.

6. Know that you’re worthwhile and valuable – and your life really counts. You are someone who has talents and can give, and love, and care.

1. Realise that your bitterness, hatred or resentment doesn’t affect the other person at all. In fact, they may not know how you feel, and if they do, they may not care.

2. Realise the best way to “win” and move on is to live the happiest and best life possible. There’s nothing to match doing something with your life, and feeling satisfied, and enjoying who you are.

3. Look for the silver lining in the cloud, and learn what you can from the bad experience. Often, it can make you a much better person – who is kinder, wiser, and with greater character.

4. Remember the people who were there for you, and who helped you to feel much better about things. Focus on their qualities – and not the other person’s!

5. Be compassionate and understanding with yourself. Emotional wounding always takes its toll on you. It leaves you feeling beaten, and torn up inside.

6. Decide not to think about the story again. You’re hurting yourself more by going over it. Choose to thing about the people who bring joy to your life, and the life experiences that leave you feeling proud.

1. Pay attention to time and place. It’s better to deal with things privately, and when neither person is stressed, or pushed for time.

2. Be respectful – and give thought to the words that you are using. Don’t attack, blame or shame or use profane, abusive language. (Often “it’s not what you say; it’s the way that you say it.”)

3. Don’t just pile on the negatives, or list all your grievances, hurts and complaints. Make sure you mention things you are grateful for, and things that are good, and are not going wrong.

4. Try to keep to the topic or your point will lose its focus. It’s easier to deal with one thing at a time.

5. Related to this, try to be specific – and not vague and general. Also, name the emotions you are feeling at the time. I

6. Keep control of your emotions, and try to stay calm. Very little will be gained if you start to lose your cool.

7. It’s not about winning and being seen as being right. The goal should be “improving your relationship”

Distraction

Conversation 

Listen to talk radio

Read

Puzzles

TV

Computer games

Jigsaws

Solve a problem

Make a list

Learn something new

Clean/tidy

Gardening

Arts & Crafts

Music

Distracting websites

Animated sea animals

Play with Sand 

Weavesilk 

Pros of Distraction 

Gives your heart and mind a break

Great for short term relief 

Great to get through a crisis 

Cons of Distraction

Can’t do it for too long

Doesn’t resolve any underlying issues

Meds can make it harder to concentrate 

Grounding

Use body & senses

Smell fragrances 

Slowly taste food

Notice the colors around you

Walk on grass barefoot

Squeeze clay or mud

Do yoga

Meditate 

Exercise 

Remind yourself of your name, age, location, and what you’re doing there

Pros of Grounding

Helps slow or stop “Dissociation” (feeling numb, floaty, or disconnected)

Reduced physicality of anxiety

Cons of Grounding

Sometimes it’s better to stay  bit dissociated (that’s how your mind protects you)

Emotional Release

Yell

Scream

Run

Take a cold shower

Let yourself cry

Put on a funny video or DVD

Let yourself laugh

Try boxing 

Pop balloons 

Crank up some music and dance your heart out

Pros of Emotional Release

Great for anger and fear

Releases the pressure of overwhelming emotion

Cons of Emotional Release

Hard to do in every situation

Feels odd

Some people might think you’re acting “crazier”

You have to be selective of when/where you do this

Self Love

Massage hands with nice cream

Manicure your nails 

Cook a special meal

Clean your house (or just make your bed)

Take a bubble bath or long shower

Brush your hair

Buy yourself a small treat

Pros of Self Love

You can become your own best friend, and your own support worker

Great for guilt or shame

You deserve it!

Cons of Self Love

Sometimes it can feel really hard to do

Sometimes it feels superficial (but its not)

Thought Challenge 

Write down all your negative thoughts, then list all the reasons they might not be true

Imagine if someone you love had these thoughts, write what you would say to them

Try to replace negative thoughts with more constructive thoughts (instead of criticizing yourself make it constructive)

Pros of Thought Challenge

Can help shift long-term negative thinking habits

Trying to be more logical can reduce extreme emotion

Cons of Thought Challenge 

The more emotional you feel, the more difficult it is to do this

In particular, feelings of shame can make this very hard

Access your Higher Self

Help someone else

You can volunteer to listen to others on 7cups

Smile at strangers

See how many smiles you get back

Pray

Volunteer 

Do random acts of kindness for others

Pet dogs at local parks

Join a cause

Pros of Accessing your Higher Self 

It reminds us that everyone has value and purpose that can be found in small things as well as large things

Helping other people helps you, too 

Cons of Accessing your Higher Self 

1.See the good in your past. There will always be things that we wish had never happened; there will always be bad memories and things that we regret. But they are part of who you are – so accept that they have happened and celebrate the person they’ve allowed you to become.

2. Invest time in the things that bring you happiness. It’s important to identify the things that you enjoy, and that make you come alive, and are all a part of “you”. Spending time on those things will help to raise your self-esteem, as you’re valuing yourself when you pursue happiness.

3. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. We all make mistakes - and when we think of them we cringe. But that doesn’t make you any worse than other people. Just try and learn what you can, and then move on with your life.

4. Stop criticising yourself. So often we’re really our own worst enemy. We look for our flaws, and we put ourselves down – instead of being understanding of our own limitations. It’s time to change that behaviour – so start loving yourself.

5. Listen to your instincts and intuitions. If you want to love yourself, you must listen to yourself. Pay attention to those instincts and your instant gut reaction – and trust that you are right when you hear that inner voice.