𑣲𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓸𝓷

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

first lemme say i Love with a capital L mc so much theyre probably the most likeable mc ive seen in a fic </3 honestly likeable mcs are hard to come by, which makes twisted hearts even more delectable 😛😛 theyre also pretty realistic and relatable too, bc who would jump at the financial opportunity that is kalim al-asim? huge monetary gain is right there and i appreciate that u have mc act on it, especially since opportunistic characters are often painted in a poor light but mc is honestly so pitiful [affectionate] you almost have to understand

i think mcs loneliness is especially apparent in part 4, where even jade mentions the idea of fading back into obscurity (and vil notes that mc intentionally tries to make themself insignificant) which in itself is what binds mc to solitude. mcs active choices to not stand out leaves them invisible to the attention and focus of others, and removing themselves from any genuine connection (tho this is also amplified by the fact that they still view other people as characters) even w scarabia student b, someone who mc could befriend without worrying abt the main cast, when conversing with him mc is still more absent than present, prioritising their plans. or with ruggie, mc keeps him at an arms length (specifically, when mc 'masks their words', they intentionally choose their delivery to serve as a barrier between them....idk mc to me it seems you really do give a gaf)

and so far mcs goal has been to focus on themself yet you can see the toll it has on them!! they are so devastatingly alone and how could they not feel that way !!! like yuu, they werent supposed to be in this world, and the everpresent question is will they ever have a place here (like when kalim proposes the idea of friendship, mcs immediate thought is that they wouldnt be compatible) a part of their goal is to work and make money as a contingency plan if things go awry, which seems unnecessary given the foreseeable future of the years they have at nrc (which already gives them a decent start to life post-education, graduating from an arcane academt like nrc) yet mc works and works to build themselves something, because they know they have nothing, only the subconscious thought that after this ends, whats next?

// that must haunt them, the knowledge that theyll be obsolete after the rightful game mcs (yuus) story concludes, with no family or no home and no memories of the ingame world to go off of, unlike other npcs, who youve mentioned do have backstories and families that they can return to. and while mc doesnt know the depth of other npcs, surely that must hurt even more, to think that bg characters who you once saw as minor have more than you ever will have, and realise that you really are alone

it probably hurts more when mc also feels like the only 'sentient' character in the game, how lonely is omniscience? they know so much about the other characters yet mc isolates themselves and prevents others from knowing them (again, altered by the fact they dont perceive them as real people, and having prior knowledge of what these characters are like and can do). with their goal, they deprive themselves of actually living and solely focuses on survival

you can really see mcs loneliness when they revel in the minute physical touch they share with kalim, i really do hope their friendship blossoms into something more than opportunity bc mc just needs decent, innocuous company (i know kalim has his own faults, but mc deserves joy after the bs of literally everything and everyone around them, i love to see them suffering but theyre also my princess who i want to see liberated and free and not shackled by the fact that theyre a bg character) </3 or how they admire the way that jamil smiles at the mention of yuu, and it makes me wonder if theyd ever want someone to think of them so fondly,. yet their goal ultimately hinders them from ever letting themself be happy

i know this is very much part 4 focused but those bits really struck me when i first read !!! it was an absolute pleasure to go back and fact check what i was typing el oh el 😼 they are the fakest idgafer i know and that is beautiful

oh waw this ask made me feel like a victorian child receiving a letter from the frontlines ily goat you are da most favorite invasive species of mine let me tell you 🤗💝

twirls YAYYYYYYYY you have no idea how much hearing that mc comes across as likeable means to me.. because they were one of the aspects i worried about most </3 when i started writing i WANTED them to be opportunistic and self-interested without crossing into a territory where readers would just want to throw tomatoes and go boo boo on them thats just nawt nice.. butbut each and every appreciation for their character has me seeing flowers ou shii... you are SO right, if anyone were to be in mc’s position, i doubt they’d give up such a huge financial opportunity like that. liek let me empty each and every one of kalim’s pockets yeo get outta my way 😂😂😂

THE LONELINESS THE LONELINESS when i tell you one of my FAVORITEEE aspects to their character RAGHHH.. their loneliness is definitely something that creeps into almost every aspect of their character because i just LOVE making them suffer ehehhehe 🥴🥴🥴, even when they themselves dont consciously acknowledge it & a lot of their decisions are framed as practical or logical, but when you start peeling back the layers theres always that underlying assumption that they have nobody to rely on except themself which is why they keep everyone at arm's length!!

OHOH then comes into play the point you made about them building a future for themself despite having years left at nrc is especially my fav bit because you are RIGHT, a lot of it comes from the assumption that eventually theyll be left with nothing. they dont know where they belong, they dont know what happens after the story ends, and theyre trying to compensate for that uncertainty the only way they know how.... genuinely i have NEVER EVER seen someone analyze my writing this much vro... 😻😻 you did nawt leave even a single detail liek damn did i really write all that..

Pronouns

An accent

Postcolonial Love Poem, ‘Wolf OR-7′ by Natalie Diaz

Archery x flower arranging

This was actually really fun!

Anyway, don’t forget I’m still raising money to test a bunch of things in a suit of armour: